no.184 131031 Thank you for the fun night with the children

More flowers in the field

Boo!

It's Halloween. The last time I dressed up was I think, two years ago? I was Audrey Hepburn in my black dress, long black gloves and the signature long pipe. I'm trying to think about what I did last year and I really don't know what I did. I really don't remember. Well, I wanted to do something fun for this Halloween but I ended up not doing anything because I had to perform in a skit and it required me to be a man. I spent my evening at church to prepare for Hallelujah Night. When it comes to Halloween, Christians seem to have different views. Some people say it's okay for us to celebrate it, on the other hand, some people are totally against it, because of the holiday's association with the devil. Personally, I think it's okay for Christian children to dress up for Halloween and go trick-or-treating. I really don't see all the fuss about some Christians hating Halloween. When I have my own children in the future, I'm not going to forbid them dressing up as their favourite princess or a super hero and go collect candies around the neighbourhood. It's nice that the church provides an alternative for Halloween for the parents who doesn't want their children to celebrate Halloween. Although I participated and prepared for the Hallelujah night

 

no.183 131030 Thank you for helping me keep up the blog for the past half year

I thought I'd try something different with my photo of the day:)

The time in between yesterday and today marks exactly the midpoint since I started blogging. To be exact, it should be no.182.5 but since no such decimal points exist in my blog, I'm sticking with 183.

Praise God, I'm not sick! I'm so thankful because I was worried about catching a cold. I still feel a little tingle in my throat but it's gotten so much better compared to last night. I thought I'd share this with you, in case anyone reading my blog is worried:)

Can you believe that I've been blogging for a half year already? Did I expect to keep it up for this long? I certainly hoped to, but I wasn't 100% sure if I could be consistent. Other than the couple of times I was sick, and the time I was in Mexico, I kept it up really well! I'm so proud of myself. I'm super happy that I started "Merci Toujours" and grateful that I came this far. Now I must get to the finish line! 182 more days to get there! I look forward to uploading 182 more posts on my blog and share a little bit of my life with you!

no.182 131029 Thank you for a good night's rest

A reed blown by the wind...

I think I'm getting sick. Remember when I said I was feeling cold last night? I still feel cold and my throat's been hurting all day... The abrupt change in temperature cause many people to get sick. I've been doing pretty good not exposing myself to sick people around me. Sadly, my body's telling me that it can't handle anymore. I guess it's about time I get sick. Same as yesterday, I am gonna hit the hay really soon. I'm thanking for something that hasn't happened yet today. I hope I get a good night's rest!

Oh, by the way, I had a really weird dream last night. I was somewhere in the Eastern Europe and I could see a skyline from where I was. All I could see were those Russian orthodox church domes all in red. I was on top of a mountain or some kind of a high hill. I could see a lot of green pasture and the sky was clear. Whenever I took a picture, I kept seeing the sun halo in my photo although I coulndn't see it when I stared at the sky. At first, I thought it was really cool but I saw myself getting frustrated as I tried to take a photo without the halo... and that was the end of my dream. I have no idea what it means but it was indeed an interesting dream for sure.

no.181 131028 Thank you for caring parents

Dahlias

I'm thankful for my caring parents. I'm thankful for my mom who packs lunch for me in the morning, and for my dad who drives me to work. Hah, I sound like a spoiled kid. Normally, I would drive or subway to work, but today was an exception. Plus, I called my mom to meet me after work to go shopping with me since I was having a hard time deciding on a coat, she willingly met up with me after work. Although I ended up not getting the coat because the store screwed up my order but it's fine. I guess it wasn't meant to be. And since my mom doesn't drive, she had to come with my dad.

I'm gonna keep it extra short today, because I feel so cold and tired... I am afraid I'm gonna get sick. So I'm going to sleep early. Good night!

no.180 131027 Thank you for surrounding myself with non-Christians

Corns!

Ever since I started my part time job, I am learning a lot of things. Let me begin by telling you that I have a headache right at this moment as I write this post. It's because I inhaled cigarette smokes - not intentionally though, because I HATE its smell.

Walking home today made me realize that I've been surrounding myself mostly with Christians, and I am having a hard time interacting with non-Christians. Today's employees meeting pretty much sums up what I mean. I'm not saying that they're bad people because they are nice and I do think that it's not a bad place to work at.

I want to share three things that bothered me from today's meeting - 1. people swearing, 2. people lying and 3. people smoking. Let's talk about the first one. I am hearing a lot of swear words here and there when I am with them. Although they don't swear at me or each other, they casually use these bad words. We all know that these words can be replaced with nicer words. Right? About people lying - it is probably common for people who work at retail stores to have this bad habit, especially people who are on commission. It can be understandable, but you lying shouldn't be used as a way to benefit oneself. The last point, I may sound judgemental, but whenever I discover someone I know likes to or is addicted to smoking, I get very disappointed in him or her. I rarely have to deal with this third issue because it doesn't affect me whether someone smokes or not, unless they do it in front of me.

I'm not saying Christians don't swear, or lie, or smoke. Even myself, although I would never smoke, I have lied before and swore before (although not to other people!). I'm also not saying that every non-Christian I met are like this because I know some non-Christ followers who are nicer than us Christians. I am just sharing my recent experience at this retail store.

It was weird that I came across this today because I have experience working with non-Christians before. I wonder what suddenly made me feel this way. It made me think that Christians aren't the only people on earth. I should consider this place as my mission field. On the way home, I was trying to think of what I should do with the people I met through this retail job. I wondered if I would ever get a chance to share my faith with them. I also worried what the things mentioned above are gonna influence me. However, God works in strange ways! As I have shared a few days ago, I got a chance to talk to one of my non-Christian friend at volunteering so randomly! So I wouldn't be surprised if God gave me a time to talk to one of my co-workers about Him one day.

no.179 131026 Thank you for swimming time

The pool at the mango farm in Manzanillo

Sitting in the whirl pool and looking at the night sky through the glass roof (although it was pitch black) brought memories of Mexico. I still remember. It was one of my favourite memories that's not ministry related. At the Manzanillo mango farm, having not enough water to shower, we all jumped into the pool when we were done with the day's schedule. Yes, it was more like a bath tub, not a swimming pool. The water was cool and refreshing, and I remember having to constantly move around because if I didn't I would shiver. The night sky was beautiful. I could see the Milky way, and I was lucky enough to spot a couple of shooting stars. There was a big lamp post by the steps and that was the only outdoor light. I kept wishing I could turn off that light, because that was the only obstacle hindering my view. What was more wonderful was the time I spent with God afterwards.

While everyone else was watching a movie, I didn't want to waste my precious time in Mexico, especially when God had cleared the sky just as I had prayed for. All day long, it was pretty cloudy so I kept telling my team how disappointed I will be if I can't see the stars at the mango farm. After taking my bath, oh, I mean swimming (haha!), I felt so clean... yes, very ironic, but all the stickiness went away after swimming. It was pretty chilly at night, so I put on my long leggings and a long sleeve and covered myself with a blanket. I had a pretty long date with God there.

We, the veterans of Mexico missions, are making donations for the pastor Rolando in Mexico. I'm so happy and thankful that I could be a part of this wonderful opportunity. We are donating so that he can build a new house for him and his family, which will allow him to focus on the ministries that he is leading in not only Guadalajara, but everywhere in Mexico.

no.178 131025 Thank you for speaking to us

Stopped the car to take a picture of the cows!! Pretty cool.

I was reading "Too busy not to pray" for my life group session today and came across the ways in which God speaks to us. According to Hybels, God speaks to us in three ways - through His word, through people and through direct prompting of the Holy Spirit. The author focuses on the last point and further divides it into four categories.

I think most of you can agree that we are all good at speaking to God. I love telling God about my problems, my life, my concerns and my plans. On the other hand, I'm always struggling to yield to God and let Him speak to me. I'm reminded of how important it is to listen and wait on God.

On a side note, I just realized that there are only two months left until Christmas. At Michael's, I bought a pack of assorted cardstock paper to start making Christmas cards while I have time. I think I previously shared how I was looking for Christmas baking ideas already. I know I shouldn't be too consumed with the worldly perspective and the idea of Christmas. I see myself facing this dilemma every year. I try to think that I what I'm doing is out of my love and thought for friends and family, but I need to take strangers into consideration. We all know how easy it is to give to people whom we love, and how hard it is to love strangers. That's the true Christmas spirit - to love the strangers as God sent His son Jesus for us. I want to challenge myself this Christmas as I every other Christmas - to get out of my comfort zone and show love to people who I don't know.

no.177 131024 Thank you for letting me find my necklace

My long lost necklace has been found.

I finally found it!

I've been searching for my necklace that I lost a couple of weeks ago. I only began looking for it this week and it's been driving me insane. I looked everywhere in my room - opened every possible drawer, and checked under my bed and my nightstand with a flash light. Yet, I wasn't able to find it. It was stressing me out and my mom kept telling me that it will come out one day when I stop searching for it. I wanted to forget about it but I just couldn't let go of it. The necklace was constantly on my mind. I couldn't give up until I find it.

 

I tried to think of the last time I saw my necklace. I thought I had left it by the nightstand but for some reason, it wasn't there. Then, I remembered taking off my jewelry before playing basketball a couple of Sundays ago. I started checking my purses, and there it was! Along with a pair of earrings, I finally found my necklace! I was so relieved! On top of finding my necklace, I also found my earrings that I have completely forgotten about haha! Anyways, it made me think of something. It reminded me of the parable of the prodigal son in the Bible. Yes, this isn't the only parable about being lost and being found, but this is the ultimate story in the Bible. I wondered about how God feels when a person finally returns to God, after living a long lost life in this world. What I lost and found was only a necklace. If I ended up not finding it, I'll probably be sad for a while but soon I will get over it because, after all, it's only a necklace, right? How much more would God be happy when one returns to His arms?

 

When I was volunteering today, I got a chance to share my faith with a co-volunteer. I was thankful that she was open to listen to me and to hear about my personal experience with God. The time was really short because I only got to talk to her in between the shifts. I'm really surprised that we had this chat today, because I did not see this coming. I'm not sure if I did a good job sharing my testimony, but I know that our conversation was planned by God. I'm just thankful for her open heart and the willingness to know more about my faith and Christianity. I'm really happy about what happened today! Please pray with me this week for this co-volunteer of mine that God will keep giving her the heart to seek Him.

no.176 131023 Thank you for Spirit of Truth

Candy apples!

"But the Counselor,

the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name,

will teach you all things

and will remind you of everything I have said to you."

John 14:26

The second part of John 14 is on Holy Spirit. When I was reading the chapter this morning, I realized that I have the least knowledge of the Spirit among the Trinity. I was once again reminded that the Holy Spirit was sent "to be with me forever." As John 14:26 states, the Holy Spirit is to teach us and remind us of everything God has taught and is teaching us. I want to study more about it and will post another entry sometime in the future. So please stay tuned!

The song of the day is by Stacey Kent. She's one of my favourite artists because of her lovely unique voice. It's so easy to recognize her voice whenever I hear her song on the radio. I was tuning to jazz fm on the way home and there she was singing! The lyrics caught my attention - yes, you'll note my obsession with autumn in New York. Plus, since it contains the word "October" in it, I thought it would make a good selection to your fall playlist!

This Happy Madness - Stacey Kent

What should I call this happy madness that I feel inside of me?
Some kind of wild October gladness that I never thought I'd see.

What has become of all my sadness, all my endless lonely sighs?
Where are my sorrows now?

 

What happened to the frown and is that self contented clown
Standing there grinning in the mirror really me?

I'd like to run through Central Park, carve your initials in the bark
Of every tree I pass for everyone to see.

 

I feel that I've gone back to childhood and I'm skipping through the wildwood,
So excited that I don't know what to do.

What do I care if I'm a juvenile I smile my secret little smile
Because I know the change in me is you.

 

What should I call this happy madness all this unexpected joy
That turned the world into a baby's bouncing toy.

The gods are laughing far above, one of them gave a little shove
And I fell gaily, gladly, madly into love.

no.175 131022 Thank you for letting me find my way home

Really soft and yummy Italian chocolate... love it.

Oh clumsy me.

 

I must've left my mind somewhere. First of all, I walked out the store without clocking out, and then when I was driving home, I got lost (kind of). I was freaking out because I hardly ever drive on the highway and when I got on the wrong lane, I had no choice but to go on the highway. I have no idea why I made this mistake because I should be used to it by now. Plus, it's been my fifth or sixth time taking this route and I haven't yet to go the wrong way until today. The left lane takes you to highway and the right leads you to local. I am always extra cautious when coming home after working at the store because it can be tricky.

 

As soon as I got on the wrong lane and realized there was no escaping of the highway until the next exit, I prayed to God. I turned off my radio to concentrate on driving, as I was extremely alert. Thankfully, the next exit appeared pretty soon and I wasn't too far from home.

 

It was my very first time driving on the highway alone at night, and I survived! Praise God!

no.174 131021 Thank you for the fall outing

Pumpkins at the apple farm! Love the smell of autumn.

My family and I drove about an hour and a half to get to the apple farm that we used to go when I was younger. I remember picking apples with my family and friends back when I was in elementary school. Instead of going for apple picking, we go to buy a jug of apple cider and a bag of fuji apples. I'm not a big fan of apples - apple juice is just meh and I wouldn't touch an apple pie (I just don't like cooked fruit, and I don't like the texture of pie crust). Yeah.. guess I can be very picky.

I'm thankful for the family outing. I was so sad that I didn't bring my camera to the farm... I thought it was going to rain so I didn't bother taking it with me... but I was wrong. I regretted so much! I learned my lesson. I'm going to bring my camera everywhere I go when I go on a family field trip!

no.173 131020 Thank you for my upbringing

Oh Canada!

 

I had a really long day at church today. I went for my usual service at ten in the morning, when I came home and looked at the clock, it was around 10PM. My typical sunday schedule goes something like this: service, teaching at preschool ministry, lunch out with friends and basketball. By the time I get home, it's usually 8PM. What a long day, right?
 

Anyways, I couldn't go for basketball today because of preschool ministry meeting. The meeting went on for almost three hours? Some of the important aspects were covered today that I found really helpful - about the 3-5 year olds that we teach. How they are different from one another in various areas in their stage of their life. We also spend some time talking about about Halleluja Night that's coming up at the end of the month and a little bit about Christmas planning. Two months left til Christmas... can you believe it?
 

At the restaurant, there was a group of people who were sitting across from our table. It was a group of four - a mom and her two children in elementary school, probably younger grades, and another woman, who seemed like she would be their aunt. I thought it was weird for them to order alcohol, although it came with the meal (we went to a all you can eat sam-gyup-sal restaurant, and if there are certain number of people, you can a free bottle of alcohol). I mean, they could've gotten a pop for the children just like us, but the fact that they chose alcohol as their option... that was interesting, I thought. Because in my understanding, when a family goes out to eat, normally the parents or in this case, the adults don't order any alcohol. Especially a bottle. I think I can be more flexible when it comes to a glass of wine with steak for dinner, but I don't think I would order it unless my children are old enough to understand. Anyways, in my culture and in my family, I would not expect for the adults to drink in front of the children... especially not to the extent when the adults are tipsy...!
 

Well, I noticed that the kids were bored once they were done eating and curious on why the mom and her friend were talking for a while. Later, other teachers and I noticed the noise level from that table go up really high, we couldn't hear ourselves speak. It seemed like she was venting or arguing about something. Then I started hearing swear words... I got really shocked. The mom not having etiquette was one problem, but more importantly, she shouldn't be talking like that in front of her own kids. We got up around the same time to get the bill, and I made eye contact with one child. I could see fear and confusion in her eyes. I just wanted to take the children away from their mom, at least until she was calmed down. Could I have done anything for the children?
 

As preschool teachers, I think we all had a similar opinion about drinking and swearing in front of the children and our behaviour when we are in a setting with the children. It got me think about my upbringing, and how I will be when I become a mom.

no.172 131019 Thank you for my mom's safe arrival

Fall.. don't leave... just yet!

She's back!
My mom is finally back home.

I'm thankful her safe return home. What am I most excited about? Seeing my mom is one thing. Another reason is... No more cooking for me, yay! Even though there are times I enjoy cooking, I don't want to be cooking every meal just yet. However, it was definitely a good practice for me while my mom was away. Just like my grandma used to tell me, these were all "practice to be a good wife in the future." Certainly they were a good practice.

When I got to the arrivals, I realized the last time I was at the airport was when I got back from Mexico. Especially being in that space, waiting for my mom to come out through the gate... it brought back my emotions. It made me miss Mexico more than usual. At that moment, I just wanted to hop on the plane and go back to Guadalajara.

By the way, I think it's gonna snow soon... and I'm being serious. It was so cold when I was walking home from the station. Although I'm looking forward to the first snowfall, I'm not looking forward to winter!

no.171 131018 Thank you for changing my perspective

I used to fold roses in highschool.. thinking about my crush(es). Haha!

I'm gonna get so fat. It's past 11PM and I am having a piece of caramel drizzled cheesecake with brownies, and to call it a "healthy option" I threw in some strawberries on a side. I really shouldn't be doing such a cruel thing to my body and teeth, especially because I'm older now.. haha. I'm usually very disciplined when it comes to eating late at night. I might regret it when I wake up tomorrow morning. But today is an exception (although I already feel my teeth tingling... uh oh).

Recently, I started working at a mid-class luxury brand part-time. I had a shift today. Most of the customers are women, but I see men walking in the store from time to time to purchase a gift for their loved ones. I got to chat with a man who was browsing for a gift for his wife. He looked pretty young, maybe in his late twenties or early thirties. When I asked him what the occasion was, he said his wife just mentioned the brand to him how she didn't own any of items from this brand. I asked him if she was hinting something. He said nothing in particular, so he came to visit the store to see what it was all about. I thought that was so sweet. The fact that he came to see what kind of products the store has, just because his wife had said she didn't own anything from us. I thought it was just so cute and thoughtful of him to do that. Afterwards we got into a conversation of gifts and how when a man picks a gift for his lady and there is a big chance that she may not like the item of his choice. It seemed like he had that experience and didn't want to let it happen again.

And I wondered. What's better... for my boyfriend/husband to pick a gift that he thinks that I might like and surprise me, or for him to just tell me that he wanted to get something for me but want me to come with him to select a gift, because he's not sure what I'd like. It would be perfect if he surprised you with the item that you wanted to get, but we all know that rarely happens.

If you choose the first one, there is a possibily of exchanging the item if you really don't like it. Yes, the thought of him surprising me is so sweet, but what happens if it's just so ugly you wonder who in the world would have recommended it? What would you do? Would you exchange it to something you like? Or would you keep it just because you know how much time he spent on to select the "right gift" for you. He probably talked to the salesperson for the longest time, comparing one bag to another and checked your closet to see what your style is (although the handbags all look the same to him).

Anyways, I don't know where I am going with this because I don't have an answer for it! I can't decide which one I prefer because I love surprises so I can't give up on that (unless my future husband doesn't throw any surprises for me... I'll be super sad) but I also do want something I want. But I think for me, unless it's extremely hideous and it's totally not my style, I would keep it because it's something that my husband got it for me. Let's leave it at that.

After experiencing my first mission trip, I told myself I would not purchase another luxury item for myself because I'd rather spend that money on something else that's more meaningful. I'm not a shopaholic to begin with, but I have invested in luxury good before although I only have a handful. What I used to do was to make a list of the things I want (whether they be a handbag or a watch) and save money aside so I can get them when I'm ready. It might be ironic that I got a part time at a semi-luxury store because I'm so easily exposed to these expensive, luxury goods. I won't lie, I still do find the high-end handbags beautiful and I desire them. However, deep inside I know what I should do. I just pray that I would be strong and guard my heart when it comes to shopping. I'm not sure what I will do once the employee appreciation sale day arrives...

On a side note, I missed Mexico like crazy today... especially listening to some Spanish songs while working. I know I'll go back soon.

no.170 131017 Thank you for my birthday

My favourite Anderson photograph.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above,

coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,

who does not change like shifting shadows"

(James 1:17)

It's here again.

The more I get older, the less I'm looking forward to my birthday. I bet a lot of people are nodding right now. I wouldn't say I was looking forward to it either. I actually woke up happy and thankful this morning. The weather forecast said it was gonna rain on my birthday so I thought to myself "Great, just what I need on my birthday." I opened up my eyes to the blue sky with white fluffy clouds this morning. It was a good start of my day. When I went to bed last night, it was around 1AM so I got to spend a little bit of my birthday last night.

I did a couple of things before the clock struck midnight. I was working on my future husband project and of course, one of the greatest ways for me to finish a year off is writing in my journal. Ever since I started blogging, I haven't been keeping up with my journal. To be honest, I finished my note a while ago and I haven't yet purchased a new one. So what I did yesterday was continuing on my Mexico journal book. Soon I will need a brand new book because the Mexico journal is very petite. I usually get pretty flower printed notes or abstract simple designs from Korea, but there's something I've been eyeing on at Indigo.

As soon as the date changed to October 17th on my phone, the first thing I did was to pray. I praised Him for who He is and for everything that He's done in my life for the past twenty something years. I'm thankful especially for this past year. I've grown soooooo much in Him and I'm so grateful for that. In the past year, I've had some hard times and struggles when I kept questioning God why. I had heartaches and headaches because I just couldn't understand why those "bad" things were happening to me. What made worse was that all the "bad" things occurred one after another. Some of them, I'm still unsure why. However, I learned to accept God's plan without fully understanding them because God knows what's going on in my life. And that's all I need! Another thing I prayed was for my new year. I prayed for two main things - that God will reveal His plan for my life and that He will reveal my future husband this year! I ask God that these will happen in His perfect timing, and I'm secretly hoping that they will happen this year! I would love to spend my next birthday with him:)

Thank you for all the blessings dear God! It's a great time to reflect on everything you've blessed me with and how faithful you've been in my life. You are just so good! Thank you for giving me this life on earth but also the eternal life. I'm reminded of your amazing love for me through your Son Jesus. Thank you mom and dad for raising me to become the woman I am, and all the support and love you've poured onto me. Thank you friends for making me feel special with all your sweet wishes. I'm excited for this new year ahead of me!

Oh, and I wanted to share a song with you yesterday but I totally forgot about it. It's by Diana Krall called Walk On By. For some reason, I feel like listening to "Last Christmas" the Glee cover. I think my Christmas carol craziness is slowly coming back...

no.169 131016 Thank you for the conversation with pastor Rolando

Beautiful sunset after the rain.

The last sunset before my birthday. I'm thankful because this beautiful sunset made me feel better after the cold fall rain during the day. Not that I was depressed or anything... you know, rain tends to bring melancholy.

Listening to the fall rain and feeling the cold breeze rushing through my window.. it was interesting. I realized that I no longer was thinking about my usual rainy day memoir. For some reason, today's rainfall reminded me of Mexico. I believe it was the third morning. The rain was just pouring down and I remember walking up to the rain, worrying that we may not be able to finish the house construction. However, our God is good! He stopped the rain as soon as we stepped outside.

Later in the afternoon, I chat with the pastor I met while I was in Mexico. It was my first time talking to him ever since I got back from my mission trip, so I was really excited to talk to him. I had so many questions to ask him. I wanted to know if the family we built the house for in Cerro del Cuatro came to know God. I wanted to know if the children in Santa Maria are eating well through the breakfast program. I was curious about the children in the Guadalajara church if  they are growing well in Christ. I thought about the people I met in Bella Vista at the house church. The list can go on... There's just so much I want to know but it was hard to communicate with the pastor because of the language barrier. Talking to the pastor in person was one thing, but to talk to him over facebook was a bigger challenge. At first, I messaged him in English but then, I got the feeling that he didn't understand me so I started using google translator. I think it helped, but he kept trying his best to talk to me in English, which I appreciate very much, but it was difficult for me to fully comprehend what he was trying to say. Although our conversation wasn't deep, I'm thankful for the time to talk to pastor Rolando. It's a good reminder that I should be praying for him and his ministry in Mexico. He asked me if I'm coming back to Mexico soon. I said I want to go back next summer if God tells me to go!

As usual, my grandma is the very first person to call me to wish me a happy birthday. There's still 2.5 hours remaining until my birthday, but it's the 17th in Korea. Thank you grandma for remembering my birthday and always thinking of me.

Phew... yes... only 2.5 hours to go! It's just like any other day... must relax!

no.168 131015 Thank you for being "true in my wandering"

In God's timing...

Since yesterday I am just not in a good mood. Well, it's not that I'm in a bad mood, but it's just that I don't know, I feel weird. Perhaps it's a pre-birthday syndrome (PBS), if there is such thing. I quickly did a google search for "PBS" and guess what, it exists! I'm not the only one who feels this way when your birthday is around the corner. Some people say that they want to spend their birthday miserably because they hate getting old. I feel them alright, but aging isn't so bad other than the getting more wrinkles around my eyes and my mouth and slowing down of my metabolism. Oh, and of course, the pressure of finding my future husband and getting married, haha...

I know I can't avoid getting wrinkles, because that would mean I need to stop smiling (which is impossible, or I would just be a miserable person). Metabolism is something that I don't need to worry about just yet because I am hungry all the time. About the issue of finding the "perfect man" for me... I am not as worried as before because I trust God with this. I used to get all worried, almost to the point where I started to feel anxious and questioning myself "what if I never find him?" Over time, my faith in God got more solidified, and thankfully it's still growing. As you can see with my blog, I love creating little projects for myself since it's fun for me. I already began a project for my future husband even before I started blogging. Oh actually, there are two... hehe! Wish I could tell you more about it but it's a top secret! I'm praying for my future husband and for us. I am certain that God will reveal me to him, and him to me at His perfect time.

After talking to a friend about what I'm going through and the way I feel, I am concluding that I am experiencing a quarter-life crisis. As he stated, I'm not where I thought I'd be at my age. When he mentioned this, I was like, oh my gosh, that's exactly how I feel right now. After spending some time praying and crying, I feel a bit better I think. Ah... no matter where I am in my life stage, I am thankful. I'm thankful that I am trying to seek God when things get hard, instead of trying to cling to the world and to following worldy advice. More than usual, I depended on God today. I'm happy that I did.

no.167 131014 Thank you for thanksgiving day

From Saturday's date with dad.

It's starting to get pretty chilly. I could feel the change in temperature in the breeze. I love fall just up until all the leaves hit the ground. What I don't like is the in between season - when the trees are bare and the sky is grey but it has yet to snow. What keeps me excited during that season is to look forward to the first snowfall. Looking at the brown leaves on the ground make it seem like autumn is over soon. I think I'm already looking forward to the first snowfall. In the mean time, I want to soak in as much vitamin D as I can.

no.166 131013 Thank you for the thankful heart

Wrapped the cookies nicely and shared them with my friends:)

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm pretty sure many pastors talked about thankfulness in their sermon today. The message I heard from my pastor was about giving thanks too: how everything we have and everything that we're thankful for stems out from one thing - Jesus, the ultimate gift of God for us.

I do think that, in fact, that’s the reason why I started my blog. Anyways, the message made me think about the genuineness of my heart when I express my gratefulness to God. Since I started my blog, I'm able to tangibly see what I'm thankful for. There are days when I am so excited to write my post because I have so much joy in me that I can’t wait to share it with you. On the other hand, there are days when I kind of force myself to come up with an idea on the title of my post, or what to even write about. It's not that I'm not grateful that day. It's just that I don't know what to choose to write about because something special didn't happen that day. However, my focus shouldn't be about extraordinary things that occur in my life. Most of the things I do are on a regular basis, which involves a lot of repetition. I guess what I learned today is that it doesn't matter what you're thankful for - whether they may be special things that happen a few times in your life, or mundane things that you do every day, I should have the same genuine heart for each because I wouldn't have them if it wasn’t for God.

I pray that I can be truly grateful every time I give thanks to God.

no.165 131012 Thank you for an awesome date with my daddy

Driving and listening to "Cavatina" on repeat.

I had an awesome date with my dad today! I thought it'd be a hassle to take my bike in the car and etc, but my dad convinced me to bring it to the park. And guess what, I was really glad that I listened to my dad. I think I would’ve regretted it if I left my bike at home.

I loved biking along the trail as I saw the yellow leaves dancing in the wind. It was a beautiful sight. I felt the warmth in the perfect fall breeze, and the smell of the dry leaves on the ground was pleasant too. Words can't describe how I felt! It was time of pure joy.

The park we went today used to be my family’s go-to park in the fall. We’ve been going there around Thanksgiving or my birthday to see the autumn leaves, and do a barbeque. Some years, we would go with our family friends. I think everyone kind of stopped doing it because we all got caught up in life. This year, it was just me and my dad. My sister is away for school and she didn’t come back for Thanksgiving, and my mom is in Korea. Although it was just the two of us, I still wanted to go somewhere for Thanksgiving, as a way of keeping our family tradition I guess.

I realized that the fall report online was wrong. It wasn’t even close to 70%! There were a lot of greens along the road, which was a little disappointing. I’m not sure if it’s related to pollution, but for some reason, it seems like the colours of the leaves are less beautiful each year… it makes me sad. I always have an image in my mind of how beautiful the park will look like, but in reality, it never meets my expectation. Maybe I need to go farther up north.

At the lake, I was able to have some time on my own for a bit. Since it's Thanksgiving and since my birthday is approaching, I thought about things I'm thankful for this year. I was amazed at how much God has done in my life this year. I’ll be sharing more about this later!

Driving into and out of the park I played something that both my dad and I can enjoy - John Williams' Cavatina. If it was just me driving, I probably played jazz. You see, jazz isn't my dad's thing… My dad drove all the way to the park for me and I thought playing his favourite music was the least I could do for him. The song was on repeat until we left the park – that’s how much he liked it.

Oh, I want to share one more song with you. While I was overlooking the lake, I kept singing one song. It's called "I Stand Amazed" sung by Chris Tomlin. I guess this song summarizes where I stand with God at the moment, looking back at my life.

no.164 131011 Thank you for motivating me to get back to photography

Didn't have enough white chocolate chips, so I threw in some walnuts.

Hello!

The long weekend is here! Not just any long weekend, it's Thanksgiving weekend! I'm looking forward to tomorrow because I am finally driving up north to see the beautiful autumn leaves! According to the Ontario provincial park website, about 70% of the leaves have changed their clothes into fall colours, and about 20% are already falling. The last report was updated a week ago, so I hope at least the 70% of the leaves are still remaining! It's sad to see a bare tree.

After talking to a friend the other day, I took out my camera from my closet. I realized that I haven't been taking much photos in a while. Although I was the photographer in Mexico, but that was just with a digital camera. I want to get back at learning photography again. I have photographer's eye - or so I think, haha. I mean, I don't think I'm bad at it. In fact, if I put more effort, I know I will be good! I'm so excited to learn again! As you can see, I'm constantly changing the look of my blog. I'm playing with HTML codes and other stuff, so please bear with me until I get everything organized. To be honest, it will take some time to get the look I want.

I'll be bringing my camera to the park tomorrow. I'm also thinking about bringing my bike... haven't decided yet though. But I know I'll have lots of fun!

no.163 131010 Thank you for letting me have all the ingredients for my double chocolate chip cookie

I made this earlier this week... tuile turned out okay but not the cake (sadly!)

Sugar craving nonstop.

I took out the butter from the fridge and I'm patiently waiting for it to soften up. I already measured the flour, chocolate powder, and other ingredients for my double chocolate chip cookie recipe. Thankfully, I have all the ingredients at home to make this cookie to satisfy my craving.

Since last week (it might have been a couple weeks ago actually) I found myself craving ice cream on waffle cone... like really bad. Sadly, no one wanted to buy me ice cream so... I went out to treat myself for some ice cream! No, I didn't get a waffle cone, but I got some Baskin Robbins green tea ice cream on sugar cone (now I remember, I wrote a post about this a couple of weeks ago!). I remained pretty calm and patient after making my stomach happy until earlier this week. My birthday is just around the corner and apparently I get a free froyo at Menchies! Who would say "no" to free froyo? Of course I had to get some!

I'm still craving waffle cone ice cream! I know my craving won't stop until I actually get one... so please someone buy me ice cream for my birthday! I wish there was Baskin Robbins at a walkable distance from my place... actually, that is a terrible idea!

no.162 131009 Thank you for Hangul

My messy Korean writing!

October 9th is called "Han-gul-nal (한글날)" in Korea. Hangul simply means the Korean alphabet. It was created by King Sejong in 1443, through a document called "Hun-min-jeong-eum." Although there was a spoken Korean language, we didn't have written alphabet other than "hanja" which refers to Chinese characters. Only the privileged aristocrats called "yang-ban" were taught to read and write hanja, therefore most of the commoners were illiterate. After the invention of hangul, the commoners gained the access to learn the language, and King Sejong also established Korea's own language, separated from Chinese (hanja).

I'm proud to be Korean!

no.161 131008 Thank you for a glimpse of fall

Good weather, good dessert and good company!

I finally got to do a little bit of what I wanted to do this fall! I met up with a few of my friends and we went for lunch and after to a cafe. There was a nice patio in the backyard of the cafe. I've been singing about going to a park to look at the autumn leaves. I hope to do it this weekend or the weekend after, before all the leaves pile up on the ground. In the backyard of the cafe, yellow leaves were covering the deck, the tables and the chairs. I loved the atmosphere. It's always nice to have a good weather, good food and a good company. Next time, I'm going to bring a book and enjoy fall to the fullest!

no.160 131007 Thank you for the movies to watch in the fall

Cream of mushroom soup!

Do you like watching movies? I do, sometimes. But when I watch one, I like to watch it at home. I don't like going to the theatres because first, it's not worth it to pay almost $15 for a movie if it's not that good, and second, I prefer watching it in the convenience of my home. Also, I would only go the theatres with someone I'm comfortable with - my family or my close friends. I hate going to the movies for a date, especially at the early stages of your relationship. I rather hold his hand and stroll in the park.

Anyways, there are two movies I want to watch this fall: Il Postino (1994) and Cinema Paradiso (1988). Although I haven't seen the movie, I'm familiar with both of the movies' theme songs (the theme song for Il Postino is actually my ring tone at the moment!).

It's going to be so romantic.

no.159 131006 Thank you for my first jersey

My first jersey!

Last week, I received the basketball jersey. It was my first jersey ever, so I kinda got excited. Well, I'm still excited to wear it when I play ball! Although I'm not good, and I hardly get a chance to shoot or even dribble, wearing the jersey makes me feel like a real athlete, haha! The thing is, by the end of the first half (we do first and second halves, 20 minutes each I think?), all the guys' jerseys are soaked in sweat but mine is completely dry, as if it just came out from the dryer. Well, I don't sweat that much to begin with... Anyways, I hope to run more during my next game and sweat more!

no.158 131005 Thank you for Sunday school teachers

Cloudy, but still a nice condition for a bike ride!

I thought today was a Sunday. Mostly because I was at church since the morning, and hung out with my church friends all day. The reason I was at church was because there was a teacher's conference. I thought it would be a meeting for all the teachers of my church, but it was for all the Korean churches in Toronto and the GTA.

Listening to the speakers at the conference made me reflect myself as a teacher. What kind of a teacher am I? How do I interact with my students? Am I doing a good job at being an example of a godly person/ spiritual leader to the children? What are some of the areas that I'm doing good at and what are the areas that I could use some improvement? These were some of the questions I need to think about.

In the evening, I had a work out date with a friend of mine. I was afraid it was gonna rain, but thankfully it didn't. I took her to the usual route I take and we went pretty close to the finish line, however, we didn't end up completing the trail because it was getting dark so fast. As you can see in the photo, there are no lights along the trail... it was pretty dark on the way back. I definitely wouldn't have gone out if it was that dark, but because I had my friend beside me, I felt safe! But next time we do this, we're gonna have to begin a lot sooner.

It was a spiritually, mentally and physically fulfilling day!