170224 Thank you for providing the venue

His and hers

As our wedding is just less than 6 months away, I was getting antsy and anxious about not having a reception venue. We will be having our ceremony at our church but we have yet to find a venue for our evening reception. Back in October last year, we actually had a venue booked that I really liked and it seemed like it could make my dream wedding come true. However, we ended up cancelling that because of our budget. I believe I made that hard decision around the end of December, and for the last couple of months, Mr. K and I were venue-less. We kept looking and looking, but there was nothing that was budget friendly, or that fit my expectation. If the venue was decent, it was way over our budget. If the budget was on point, the venue was... well, meh.

As time kept passing, I was getting more and more antsy. And, probably to the point I was getting depressed and sad... even with the possibility of having a "giving up" spirit in me. During this whole time, Mr. K was patient with me and kept encouraging me that God will provide, and that we will find something at the end of February. Yes, I believed him and more importantly, I believed that God will provide. But I kept doubting in the back of my mind, that yes, for sure God will provide, but I will have to compromise big time on the quality of the venue. That's the part that was bothering me. I want a budget friendly wedding, at the same time, I wanted a nice venue. Well, realistically that is impossible, right?

We visited out our "last" venue this morning. Well, I call it last because, I was so hopeless and I didn't want to check out any other venues after this point. If it didn't work out today, I was just gonna suggest a Korean restaurant or whatever. Yes, whatever. I hate that word and I especially hate it when my fiancé uses it and now I'm using it. That just shows how done I was with this venue thing.

As we were driving to the venue, and as we were waiting to meet with the coordinator on site, Mr. K kept ensuring me how beautiful that venue will be in the summer. The venue that we checked out today is a golf course, so it was very bare and miserable during winter, especially on a rainy day like today. I tried to envision that and yeah, I can definitely imagine it being full of colours and beautiful in August. But I wasn't buying it yet, just because I had looked up this golf course online and the hall wasn't... well, my style. Therefore, I had no expectation. I went regardless with the thought to just take this venue (or the Korean restaurant), just to get this whole thing over with. But when the coordinator took us to the room, from just the look through the doors from outside, I loved it. I just loved the airiness of the space because of all the large windows! There was so much light coming in, and I could just imagine the green field beyond those glass panes. Ahh! finally! On top of that, there was upstairs! Well, the upstairs didn't have that "wow" effect as the ground floor, but I thought I could work with it.

I was so thankful and relieved to finally have a venue, and not just any venue but somewhere that I see myself and Mr. K celebrate our wedding day. It was another reminder of God's goodness and provision for both of us! Oh, and we knew that this had to be it because this was the only Saturday available for the month of August! Isn't that so crazy how it all worked out? Like Mr. K was saying, I'm sure that it was all God who provided this awesome place for us. A admit that I was overly anxious and worried about this for so long. Apparently I was being a Debbie downer for some time now... but really, I wasn't that bad, was I?

Anyways, thank you Lord for providing this great place for us! We continue to pray that God will walk with us as we plan our wedding day, and most importantly, our marriage together as a husband and a wife!

170220 Thank you for our one month engagement anniversary

By the George Washington Bridge, New York

A month ago today, something real special happened. I got engaged to my favourite guy, Mr. K! I knew that he was gonna make this proposal real special but he definitely went over and beyond what I expected.

It's been a month since we got engaged. I am happy for the most part, but the wedding planning has been rather stressful than fun. Many married couples have told me to enjoy this time but I find it hard to enjoy because of so much stress with so many uncertainties. Our wedding is only 6 months away and we still haven't found a venue. I keep going back and forth between what I want and what is pleasing to God. I didn't want a wedding that everyone's doing. The wedding culture nowadays is just too crazy looking from a financial perspective. Everything that's labeled with "wedding" just jumps in price. I do have an image of what my wedding day to be. And it seems it's almost impossible with the time that I have... In a way, I feel like I couldn't get what I wanted so I kinda gave up... and with the options that I have, I should choose the best available but I keep thinking of the wedding in my mind. And because the reality does not match with what I had envisioned, I have a trouble settling down on our choices. So I don't know what to do anymore. At times, I am hopeful that I'll find the things I want (and I don't think my dream wedding is unrealistic), but at times, I lose all the hope and become very discouraged to the point, that I don't want to plan anything anymore. "It's just for one day" is an excuse that I tell myself - that it's okay to want and carry out what I envision, but it also becomes a reality check to remind me that what I desire the most is to have a wedding that is honouring God. But is that really what I desire the most? Or am I just saying that?

I've been praying for wisdom more than ever during this season of wedding planning.

170214 Thank you for another V-day with my Valentine

There was another chocolate bar but, let's say I kinda ate it all... :P

I was shocked to see a long line up at a flower shop at one of my local grocery stores this evening. Yes, it's Valentine's day - the day of love, celebrating love between couples, friends and even family.

It's our third Valentine's day together this year, and my fiancé and I decided not to celebrate it this time. Well, I think our celebration for V-day varied from year to year. But as we are planning for our wedding, we thought it'd be wise to save money in whatever capacity we can. And I'm glad that we did what we did because I realized the prices for flowers have gone up super high in February! I love receiving flowers from my Mr. K but I wouldn't want him to pay an unreasonable price for this "day of love." He's already good at surprising me with flowers and other gifts, and we don't need commercialism to acknowledge our love for each other. 

Well, although we said we won't do anything this year, Mr. K got me bars of chocolate that I wanted to try:) I'm just happy that we got to spend the day with each other!

170208 Thank you for the girls devo group

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I am serving in my church's youth group as a leader. It's been more than a year and slowly but surely, I've got to know a lot of students - some on just "hi and hello" level and others in a deeper level. There are a couple of girls that I've been intentional in my time with them, and it seemed like they needed someone to keep them accountable in regards to their devotional time. I can't remember for certain, but I'm pretty sure it was before October when we started doing and sharing a Bible reading together. Then wow, it means we have been doing this together for at least 4 months already! We started with John and just a couple of weeks ago, we finished the book! We started off reading and sharing a passage daily - 5 days a week. After a while, we decreased the sharing part to 4 times a week, and now that more time has passed, they feel more disciplined to share about 3 times a week, and they are good to do their devo on their own on the other two days. Last week, we took a break because we had just finished John and I wanted to ask if they would like to continue doing this together. I was happy to know that they were seeking to continue this accountability group until they become more disciplined.

Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge, 

but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

Proverbs 1:7

Today, we began a new book. As we read Proverbs together, it is my prayer that all three of us will grow in God's wisdom and that we will be disciplined to pray, to read the Bible and to love one another.

170203 Thank you for a delicious brunch and a good company

Thick and fluffy pancakes! Yummm!

Brunch dates are always fun. Yes, I do admit that brunch can be excessively expensive but it's a special treat for me as I don't do it often. Once I get married and have my own place, I want to invite my girlfriends over for brunches... I hope my fiancé wouldn't mind it! I guess, I'l probably only do it when he has work on Saturdays so... I guess he won't mind at all then!

My dream of having my own place, making it pretty and having friends over is coming true soon. Not so soon but soon enough! I am very excited for that!

I'm thankful that I got to have this wonderful brunch with a wonderful friend. It happens to be her birthday today, and she seemed to really enjoy the food and the atmosphere at the brunch place so I'm very thankful for that. Looking forward to having a friendship building & memorable year with her!

170201 Thank you for speaking to me through the Word

What's left from the engagement day!

It's been almost a year... since my last update in March, 2016. I guess I am back, for the time being. The reason that I didn't update my blog was not because I ran out of things to be thankful for. Because since the last time I blogged, there has been more than plenty of things that I'm thankful for. But it's more so because of my laziness and at times, I forgot to... and that went on for weeks after months... and I became complacent.

I've been doing my devo on Psalms and I keep entering this cycle where I enjoy reading -> finding chapters very repetitive -> feeling like there's no new information -> repenting and realizing that I was wrong -> enjoying reading again. Today, I was on Psalm 98 and it seemed so similar to I had read the day before, and the day before that, and two days before that... I felt so dry, bored, couldn't pay attention, so I actually didn't have a quality time with God. But, as soon as I read the chapter once, something came to my mind. I felt like God was speaking to me. He was asking "how come you read psalms about praising me for the past how many weeks (or months), yet you don't praise me?" I feel like He also could've said something like, "helllloooooo? I've been giving you these obvious hints this whole time, and look how long it took you to realize."

That's when it hit me. I felt so dumb and clueless. I was giving thanks to God, and I was singing praises to God on Sundays, but did I actually "praise" and worship God? I feel like I haven't done that in a long time. I felt the prompting from God that I need to get back to this blog but I kept pushing it off. God's been telling me that I need to praise Him but I've been just dwelling in the brainstorming stage, and not putting anything I brainstormed into an action.

I've been also learning about disciplining myself spiritually. So with this entry, I want to discipline myself again in giving thanks to God through my blog. By doing this, I can start counting my blessings again and really grasp on how great our God is. Today, I'm thankful that God spoke to me through His word, and that I'm able to get back on my blog!