170220 Thank you for our one month engagement anniversary

By the George Washington Bridge, New York

A month ago today, something real special happened. I got engaged to my favourite guy, Mr. K! I knew that he was gonna make this proposal real special but he definitely went over and beyond what I expected.

It's been a month since we got engaged. I am happy for the most part, but the wedding planning has been rather stressful than fun. Many married couples have told me to enjoy this time but I find it hard to enjoy because of so much stress with so many uncertainties. Our wedding is only 6 months away and we still haven't found a venue. I keep going back and forth between what I want and what is pleasing to God. I didn't want a wedding that everyone's doing. The wedding culture nowadays is just too crazy looking from a financial perspective. Everything that's labeled with "wedding" just jumps in price. I do have an image of what my wedding day to be. And it seems it's almost impossible with the time that I have... In a way, I feel like I couldn't get what I wanted so I kinda gave up... and with the options that I have, I should choose the best available but I keep thinking of the wedding in my mind. And because the reality does not match with what I had envisioned, I have a trouble settling down on our choices. So I don't know what to do anymore. At times, I am hopeful that I'll find the things I want (and I don't think my dream wedding is unrealistic), but at times, I lose all the hope and become very discouraged to the point, that I don't want to plan anything anymore. "It's just for one day" is an excuse that I tell myself - that it's okay to want and carry out what I envision, but it also becomes a reality check to remind me that what I desire the most is to have a wedding that is honouring God. But is that really what I desire the most? Or am I just saying that?

I've been praying for wisdom more than ever during this season of wedding planning.

no.345 140410 Thank you for the greatest proposal

Where I got proposed:)

Recently, I've been in a couple of conversations with friends about marriage proposals. I was asked what my ideal proposal would be. Although I have wondered and thought about this special occasion, but I realized that I didn't have an idea of the "perfect proposal" per se. I think I'll be happy, as long as there is just the two of us - nothing public for sure, and if it's something meaningful to both of us. One more thing, no rose petal or candle walkways.. that's not my thing. Oh, and there is one song that I want my future husband to sing to me on guitar when he's proposing… but it doesn't necessarily have to be done when he's proposing hehe. Actually, now that I think about it, I can recall one moment that I thought it would be the perfect moment to get proposed. Come to think of it, it may not sound so special to many. However, it was super special to me. At that moment, I felt like I had everything… which is true in a way. 

It was last year, when I was in Mexico. It was the second last night of my short term mission trip. Only a half day of ministry was remaining, and the team was ready to relax on the beach. Because we were away from Guadalajara, our team spent the night at the mango farm which had a pretty big swimming pool (it was more like a large community bathtub for us!). I couldn't sleep that night just as any other nights in Mexico because of all the excitement or my sensitive personality. Before trying to attempt to fall asleep, I came out to the pool and lied on one of the beach chairs. The sky was so clear, I could see the milky way. I started talking to God as I reflected on the past 8 days in Guadalajara. I've experienced a combination of God's love, blessing and greatness all at once. He's also opened up my eyes to see through Jesus' eyes. What I learned and felt in Mexico is indescribable. After thanking God for everything He's done and shown me during my mission trip, I began listening to my playlist on my phone.

There are two songs I remember listening to that night at the mango farm. Chris Tomlin's Indescribable was the first one, and the second one is the song that I want to hear my future husband sing for me. I thought about sharing it on my blog… but I figure it's better that I wait for now:) Anyways, I think the reason I felt that moment would be the perfect moment to get proposed was because I listened to my "proposal" song. But, I definitely don't want my future husband to do that while we are on a mission trip together or something, because then he can't focus on the mission trip itself. Well, I guess in a way, it was a proposal after all because I experienced the greatest love.  Perhaps I've experienced the most awesome proposal of all - God poured out His love for me. "You see the depths of my heart, and You love me the same" - this is my favourite line from "Indescribable". God is amazing.