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| By the George Washington Bridge, New York |
A month ago today, something real special happened. I got engaged to my favourite guy, Mr. K! I knew that he was gonna make this proposal real special but he definitely went over and beyond what I expected.
It's been a month since we got engaged. I am happy for the most part, but the wedding planning has been rather stressful than fun. Many married couples have told me to enjoy this time but I find it hard to enjoy because of so much stress with so many uncertainties. Our wedding is only 6 months away and we still haven't found a venue. I keep going back and forth between what I want and what is pleasing to God. I didn't want a wedding that everyone's doing. The wedding culture nowadays is just too crazy looking from a financial perspective. Everything that's labeled with "wedding" just jumps in price. I do have an image of what my wedding day to be. And it seems it's almost impossible with the time that I have... In a way, I feel like I couldn't get what I wanted so I kinda gave up... and with the options that I have, I should choose the best available but I keep thinking of the wedding in my mind. And because the reality does not match with what I had envisioned, I have a trouble settling down on our choices. So I don't know what to do anymore. At times, I am hopeful that I'll find the things I want (and I don't think my dream wedding is unrealistic), but at times, I lose all the hope and become very discouraged to the point, that I don't want to plan anything anymore. "It's just for one day" is an excuse that I tell myself - that it's okay to want and carry out what I envision, but it also becomes a reality check to remind me that what I desire the most is to have a wedding that is honouring God. But is that really what I desire the most? Or am I just saying that?
I've been praying for wisdom more than ever during this season of wedding planning.
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