no.334 140330 Thank you for an encouraging email from a friend

It's really fascinating to see how God works through people. I've been experiencing God's love and encouragement for me through people around me, especially in times of spiritual dryness and tough times. I do feel that, God uses this period to help me grow in ways I've never even expected.

I received an email from a friend of mine. I met her through life group a couple of years ago, and we've been friends since. Although we see each other every Sunday at church, it's hard for us to spend time especially because we serve in different ministries. We recently met up to just catch up. Since then, she has sent me two emails with thoughtful messages. And her timing is perfect. Well, it's more correct to say that God's timing is perfect because He is using her to encourage me.

I'm so thankful to have her in my life - a friend, and a sister in God. I'm also so thankful that God is using people around me to help me to experience God, and put me back on the track when I get lost. It's amazing because God knows the perfect moment, and the perfect people to give me strength - spiritually and emotionally.

no.333 140329 Thank you for a successful pate a choux

Mon petit chou!

Yes I failed at baking macarons last night but it didn't stop me from baking! I never baked pate a choux before and I had a sudden craving while I was browsing for a recipe. I had to try it out!

Because of my unsuccessful attempt last night, I was pretty scared when I put the tray of choux in the oven. Thankfully, they came out really nice! All I need to do is to make the pastry cream and fill them in! I'm really happy it worked out fine. And I gained my confidence back! Gotta try that macaron recipe again!

no.332 140328 Thank you for helping me overcome my fear of baking macarons

I love eating macarons, but I hate baking them because I always fail whenever I try to bake them. There was a phase when I used to experiment different recipes to get the perfect macaron but I wasn't successful. I had enough of it, and I finally gave up on making them. That was about two years ago.

Then last week, my sister brought me a box of macarons. After tasting how bad they were, I decided to challenge myself again to overcome my fear of baking macrons. The result? I failed again. But it's not gonna stop me! I'm gonna try it over and over again until I get it right.

no.331 Thank you for friends who keep me in their prayers

Cute rabbit cupcake kit for Easter

It's great if you haven't noticed. Because the last three blog entries, I numbered them "no. 238, no. 239 and no. 240." It took me three days to finally realize the mistakes, and I quickly fixed it. That clearly shows how out of the place I've been lately.

I want to give thanks to God for friends around me, especially for the ones who keep me in their prayers. Whether they pray for me from time to time, or when I share my prayer requests, I'm really thankful that I have brothers and sisters who would pray for me. I think prayer is one of the best things you could do for another.

Thank you for praying for me.

no.330 140326 Thank you for friends who come to share their stories with me

More Easter egg chocolates!

I enjoy listening to friends' stories. Whether it's a happy one or a stressful one - I like to attentively listen to them. I wouldn't say I'm the best listener, because sometimes I tend to lose focus, or I try to think about ways to help or encourage them as I listen to their story. But I think for the most part, I'm relatively a good listener.

I'm thankful to have friends who share their good and bad stories with me. I'm especially thankful for a friend who told me about a stressful event that occurred today. I'm thankful for my listening ears, and that I was able to encourage her through her hard times.

no.329 140325 Thank you for the delicious dinner

I love noodles in general. Spaghetti, pad thai, udon, kal-gook-su, so-myun, soba, you name it. I pretty much enjoy having noodles. Ever since my mom came home from Korea, I think she cooked tomato sauce pasta only once. When it was just me and my dad, I used to make pasta pretty often because of its simplicity. I love meat, so I usually put some ground beef or chicken in my sauce. I just realized that there was no meat in the pasta today, and yet it still tasted so good. My mom must've put something in it to make it taste so good! I don't doubt my mom's cooking skills because she is a truly amazing chef. I'm thankful for the delicious spaghetti dinner prepared by my mom.

no.328 140324 Thank you for my blog readers

I thought I wouldn't have a spiritual dryness this soon. Perhaps, I've been already experiencing it but denying that I was going through it this whole time. I shared this about a week ago, how God has been telling me to pray more fervently. To be honest, I wasn't able to keep that up. I've been struggling to keep up with my prayer time as well as drawing near to God's word. That is also probably why I've been having a hard time writing my blog as well. Even today, I've been staring at my screen, not knowing where to begin. Then, I got sidetracked to various things…

I'm just thankful that I have this blog. Knowing that there are friends and family who read this post and will pray for me as I go through spiritual dryness, I am already encouraged by all of you. Please pray for me if you do read this post. Thank you!

no.327 140323 Thank you for letting me not lose my cell phone

Black and white

Have you ever lost anything important to you? Although I'm clumsy, I'm usually good at keeping things. Well, except for today. I couldn't find my phone in my purse, nor in my jacket. And.. I don't have anyone's phone number memorized… even my own home number. So ended up using my friend's phone to message my sister on Facebook to see where my phone went. Thankfully, it was at home (along with my offering!). Phew. I don't know what I would've done if it indeed disappeared. All those picture and videos will be gone… along with my memories. Yikes. I don't even want to think about that!

Another thing happened today. My sister and I have the same jacket, and I accidentally wore her jacket instead of mine. This happens pretty often, as we own the same jacket, pants, scarf, and even underwear. And.. yeah, I've actually wore all of the above by accident. She wears one size bigger than me so I usually notice the loose fit, but for some reason, I couldn't really tell this time. I feel bad that my sister couldn't take her jacket with her, but then again, she has another peacoat that I bought her last year.

no.326 140322 Thank you for helping me realize the importance of prayers

Actions without prayer leads to regrets and failures. Should've known it better, but I selfishly made up my mind to do something totally abruptly. And.. hence, I am regretting what I've done. As I am writing this, I am thinking why I didn't even consider praying before making a decision. Still, God is good and He provided for me. He's also given me this incident to make me wiser, so I'm thankful for that.

Also, I went to Mexico in my dream last night. I met pastor Rolando and we were driving over to some place with our team members. I can't remember most of my dream but it's interesting that God revealed Mexico in my dream now, because I just shared with my life group last night to pray for me in regards to this. Could it be a sign that I need to go back to Guadalajara this summer?

no.325 140321 Thank you for my sister's thoughtfulness

Late night snack delights

Thanks to my sister who brought home these cute little macarons! Not the best macarons I had because the filling was too buttery - it literally tasted like plain butter, that it almost tasted like garlic if you know what I mean… Both my sister and I kept saying that it had a weird garlic taste to it. However, it's the thought that counts! Thanks to my sister and her thoughtfulness!

no.324 140320 Thank you for the surprise card in the mail

Yellow card envelope 

I've got mail.
Sadly, my mailbox is usually filled with bills in boring white envelopes and flyers. Same for my email - I only get work related emails and coupons. I was really surprised to see this hand written card in the mailbox today. It reminds me that I should be doing this more often too. I used to, but I don't anymore. Well, I guess it's not too bad since the last time I bought stamps and wrote hand written cards was Christmas… so it's been three months. Perhaps I should do it again since it's spring! Talking about spring, it was first day of spring today? And… it snowed. Where are you spring?

no.323 140319 Thank you for the progress in Spanish

"Curious George" from my favourite cupcake shop in town, 2008.

Learning Spanish is so far so good. Although I am not really sitting down with an open book in my hands, I think I'm making a progress. I certainly know more words compared to last summer. Not only that, I sort of know how to form a sentence. Sort of. I'm starting to learn how to conjugate regular verbs in present tense. I'm listening to how to pronounce Spanish colours on Youtube.

I feel like I should be sharing a Spanish song, but I have already shared all the Spanish songs from my playlist. If you know any good Spanish songs, please let me know! For now, let me present you Les Yeux Ouverts by Beautiful South. I feel like sharing this music… just because:)

no.322 140318 Thank you for the patience as I wait for spring to come

Here we go again.. my crazy obsession! But I didn't buy them:)

One of the things I look forward to do in spring is to ride my bike. It's really been a while. I don't even remember the last time I took my bike out from the garage. Ahh, it reminds me of the time in New York when I rented a bike and rode it around the Central Park for hours! I hope I'll be able to do that again sometime in the near future.

It's still cold but today felt a bit like spring. Instead of riding my bike, I drove around the neighbourhood to run some errands. Although it was a short drive, I enjoyed the time singing along to my playlist with my window down (only a little bit, because it was still cold). I realized that I actually enjoy driving. I guess I get that from my dad.

no.321 140317 Thank you for making the night shift a little bit more exciting

Looking around Indigo, one of my favourite shops!

I don't like closing shifts but if there is one thing I like about it, it's that I get to look at the stars on the way home. That is, only when the sky is clear. Today was one of those nights, and as soon as I walked out from the station, I was greeted by Orion. I could see the constellations from my window, however, it's definitely different to be outside and look at them. Although I hate coming home late, I have something to look forward to the next time I have the night shift.

no.320 140316 Thank you for my group of church friends

Love the pastel colours!

There are 45 days of blogging remaining.

That's about a month and a half left. As I am sitting down in front of my desk to think about what happened today and what to write on my blog, it makes me think again about my blog. There were some days when I felt like I was writing a summary of my day without putting much effort in thinking about what I'm grateful for. If I hadn't realized this, I probably would've repeated the same thing again today.

I'm surprised that I haven't thanked for my church friends. Numerous times they've been mentioned on my blog, but I have yet to thank God for them. I hope I did, but I just didn't title it. I am thankful for my friends and the relationships I developed through church. Whether they are friends from the group that I normally hang out with, or from my life group, or from preschool or from Mexico team and so on… however I've met them, I am thankful for my friends and the relationships with each one of them.

no.319 140315 Thank you for the visit to the McMichael

Green vases for spring

I made a trip to Kleinberg this morning to visit a gallery. I met someone who used to work in an art gallery, and she invited me to come with her and her friends to Kleinberg. I happily joined them and I had a great time. The last time I was at the McMichael gallery was about a year and a half ago, when I was still working for a gallery in Toronto. It kind of reminded me of the time the gallery I worked for participated in an exhibition there. I haven't gone on a trip to a museum or a gallery in a while. It was definitely nice to stroll around the gallery. I'm thinking about going to the AGO sometime soon when the weather calms down a little bit. 

no.318 140314 Thank you for the "amazing" things

a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j...

It's a Friday night and I stayed home and watched a movie that I wanted to see last Sunday. "A Moment to Remember" - one of my favorite movies of all time. It was kind of random that I ended up watching this film. I was contemplating whether I should bake or read my book or study Spanish... but I figured it would be relaxing to spend my evening with a movie.

And... I ended up with swollen eyes because, obviously I have to cry while watching it. I tried not to cry so much since I made plans for tomorrow morning. Hopefully my eyes will be fine by then!

As I am writing my blog, I got an email from a friend of mine from church. And she writes how she is so excited for me about how God will use me this summer. I had shared with her about how I'm drawn to several places for the summer. I've also shared with her how God revealed to me that anything is possible in Him - you gotta go back to my old entry about this. But what's strange is that she isn't the only one to tell me that it will be "amazing" if I were to be a part of a project from this nonprofit organization. Another friend from church also told me that it would be "amazing" if I partake in this journey as well. Wow. What just happened? I don't know what to say. Does it mean that God wants me to go to both mission fields this summer? However, the schedule for Mexico is not fixed yet... nor do I know the schedule for the other one until at the end of March/ early April. Regardless, I trust that if it is God's will to send me to both places, then surely everything will work out in the end. Because I was 99% sure that I will be going back to Mexico one way for another, I kind of started to forget about the other project. I must fervently pray about my summer again. I'm thankful for giving me the chance to reconsider about my summer. God, if You want me to be in both places this summer, let me be. I'm just so grateful that You are choosing someone like me to glorify Your kingdom.

no.317 140313 Thank you for directing me to pray fervently

Waffle party at a friend's house

Fervently.

God is telling me to pray fervently.

I thought I was doing a relatively good job with my prayer life, but I guess I was deceiving myself this whole time. I have been praying but not earnestly enough. I thought I was slacking off at reading the Word but there's another area of improvement. I'm thankful for the Holy Spirit to move my heart to pray fervently.

no.316 140312 Thank you for my co-worker who can speak Spanish

Let it snow… in March!

A snow storm in March is not a surprise in Toronto.

I'm thankful for a co-worker who can speak Spanish. I asked her some questions that I had, and she happily explained them to me. She even corrected my pronunciation! I'm taking it step by step to reach my goal of learning Spanish to a basic level so I can talk to the locals in Mexico in the summer.

no.315 140311 Thank you for a short shift

Clothesline from my grandma's house in Korea

I heard a song on a Korean radio the other day and I fell in love with it! So I'd like to share it with you all. I think it's a perfect song as we anticipate for spring to come. It's called "카페에 앉아 (Sitting by the cafe)" by One More Chance. Listening to this song while walking down the street makes me happy! Here in Toronto, we had a spring-like day as the temperature went up to 10 degrees! Although we only had a taste of it, we know that spring is slowly but surely coming!

But winter isn't over yet… we're expecting another snowstorm tonight. Yikes! Please, please, please let it be the last snowstorm of the season. I would like to see some flowers blossoming by the end of March!

no.314 140310 Thank you for my day off on this warm day

Triangular shaped coffee milk that I used to drink in Korea:)

Trouble sleeping - Corinne Bailey Rae. 

I don't remember how many times I got up in the middle of the night. I had a bad dream and I got up and I tried to process what happened in my dream and I had trouble going back to sleep. I'm pretty sure I kept waking up a couple of times because of that. It's probably because I was thinking about possible scenarios related to what happened in my dream. Due to my "nightmare", I could't get up in the morning for the preschool bowling. I don't care how many times it happens in my dream… I just pray that it won't happen in reality.

Regardless, I had a good day bowling with my preschool children. I spend about two and a half hours supervising the children with bowling and lunch. By the time everything was done, I was dead tired! The more time I spend with these kids, the more I learn to be patient and be humble. I was confident that I was pretty patient person but I'm realizing that I was wrong.

I'm thankful for the warm day! I had my spring moment on my way home from the station after bowling. The breeze was still cold, but warm enough to feel that spring is indeed, in the air! The forecast tells me that it will snow again and that it will hit -15 again… I really don't want to believe it.

no.313 140309 Thank you for being with me

Maybe I just need a box of macaroons… :)

For some reason, I feel so empty, lonely, weak and so out of the place… right now. Maybe this weather is too depressing. Maybe I just feel extra tired because of the daylight savings. I didn't want to find rest in anything else but God, so I prayed and even journaled before writing my blog. And I still don't feel good. I know this feeling will eventually go away but it's not going anywhere at the moment. Still, I know that God is with me at this very moment, and I'm very thankful for that.

There is a remedy for the sad, feeling low days for me. Please don't judge me, but I like to watch a sad movie and cry. I have a go-to movie called "A Moment to Remember." It's one of my favourite Korean movies, partly because I like the actor and because his occupation in the movie is a dream job for my future husband. But mostly because of his overflowing love for his wife. You'll see what I mean when you watch the movie. There are movies that are way more sad than this but it became my "go-to" movie. Anyways, I was thinking about watching it but it's already past eleven, and I got to wake up early for bowling tomorrow morning.

no.312 140308 Thank you for the good ol' memories

Easter chocolates!

I'm not the type to dwell in my past. I don't purposely force my self to think about the "good times" but it comes naturally when something similar to that event in the past occurs to me. And that's what happened today.

I was taking the subway home and there was a girl sitting across from me. She was smiling as she was looking at her phone. Perhaps she was looking at a funny picture. But her smile was so subtle it seemed like she received a message from her friend which made her happy… and that got me thinking about my own experience.

I'm sure we all had that moment when a simple text message from your friend makes your day. I too, had many incidences when I was delighted to see a friend's message. However, the fondest memory I have is the time I missed my stop while reading my friend's email. Here in Toronto, the technology isn't that advanced, so we don't get wifi on the subway. And, this was when I was using my blackberry. I got an unexpected email from a friend of mine, and I had opened it before getting on the subway. It was a very thoughtful email and I really appreciate my friend's email at that very moment. It got me really excited and I kept reading it over and over and over again. I only realized when I got to the stop after where I was supposed to get off. It almost felt like, I couldn't hear anything and I couldn't see anything other than the email at that moment. I didn't hear the announcement. I didn't even notice people getting on and off at a busy interchangeable station.

Walking home, I thought about that day and the feeling I had. I'm glad that it is one of those "good ol'memories" that I can reminiscence even after a few years.

no.311 140307 Thank you for the beginning of the new life group

I found this old ring of mine in my drawer

The first session of this year's life group started two weeks ago, however, due to preschool teacher's meeting, I wasn't able to make it. So, today was my first life group meeting of the year. There are changes - our leader is different, the group members are different, and the group size is different and so on. One thing that didn't change would be our heart for God, and how we all want to walk in the light with Him.

One of the things we talked about today was what we would like to improve on as a life group member. I shared that I want to focus on prayer. As I write this entry, I am realizing what I had in mind earlier this year. If I'm remembering correctly, I have also mentioned it on my blog also. When I attended the early morning prayer meetings back in January, I prayed that this year would be the year of prayer for me. It's interesting that I thought about this again in my life group.

I've written down my life group girls' prayer requests, so I will make sure I'll pray for each one of them tonight, and in the next two weeks until our next session. I'm thankful for the group and I pray that God will use each of our experiences and testimonies to encourage and challenge one another.

no.310 140306 Thank you for my cousin's starting of university

#tbt

My baby cousin's starting university in Korea. I was just messaging my eemo (aunt) how he's doing and it seems like he's having "the time of his life." Funny thing is, he went to university where I had my orientation when I went to Korea to teach English a few years ago. He's living in the residence where I stayed for three weeks. Well, slightly different because I was in the women's and he's in the men's but more or less the same. It's bringing back memories from the orientation. It was one of the most fun memories of Korea. I made lots of friendships through the orientation, and I still keep in touch with some of them. It's definitely challenging to keep in touch with most of them since they're not from Toronto. Since Korea, I've skyped with them, called them, Facebook messaged them, bbmed them, and even wrote letter to them. But it's always pleasing to see them again in person! Luckily, I've seen some of them - in Toronto and in New York. I haven't traveled much since then, so I'd see them whenever someone visited Toronto. If I have the chance, I'd like to visit my friends in the west coast when the time is right!

no.309 140305 Thank you for lent

Children's Lent calendar from my church

Lent begins today and I still haven't given up anything yet. Last year, I gave up chocolate. How come I can only think about giving up food? What comes to my mind are green tea, white hot chocolate, snacks… and I already had all these three today. Nothing else comes to my mind. Instead of giving up something, why not add something? For instance, I see it on the lent calendar about "collecting coins in a lent jar and think of ways to use that money to help someone in need." Perhaps, this is something I should do. Or, here's another one. I'm going to stop complaining. Giving up wise, I will remind myself to not to complain - whether it's about a situation or about a person. Instead, I will use that time to encourage others.

no.308 140304 Thank you for faith followed by works

Colourful flowers signalling that spring is here? Nah… it's snowing again!

When I was young (during my high school and university years), I used to hope that my future husband will bring me a bouquet of flowers every once in a while (preferably once a month). It's a wishful thinking. That was when I didn't know how expensive flowers can be. I still love flowers, but once a month is too much and I know I will eventually get used to it and begin to not appreciate it. However, I'm still hopeful that my future husband will surprise me with flowers occasionally:)

I've came across the same verses from the book of James for the last three days. I found it interesting because these verses were incorporated in my testimony that I shared with people in Mexico.

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? 

Can that faith save him? 

If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, 

"Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, 

what good is that? 

So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

James 2:14-17

There must be something that I'm not doing for God to give me the exact same message for three days in a row. What areas in my life can I live out my faith? Are there needy people around me that I've been neglecting? The most challenging environment for me is my workplace where I am surrounded by unbelievers. My co-workers are not poorly clothed nor lacking in daily food as the people in Mexico. They may not need physical help but they can definitely use some spiritual leadership. Even though there are numerous people who are in need of physical support, I want to pray for whom I should use my money and time to relieve their physical burdens. 

no.307 040303 Thank you for my mom and the pepero

I think I get my "craziness" from my mom. 

Since I first discovered the green tea pocky two weeks ago, I am so addicted to it. I told my mom to buy more if it goes on sale (these pockys are expensive!) and a few days later, she comes home with about 10 of these… There are only five in the picture, because my mom hid the other half so I don't eat all of them at once. She even bought the strawberry flavour for me to try. So far, I only ate two boxes. There's only one way to overcome my addiction, I need to keep feeding myself until I get sick of it. Only then, I will stop looking for it. Perhaps that's my mom's plan… haha

no.306 140302 Thank you for the safely delivered letter

Roses from yesterday's wedding…

I got a message from pastor Rolando! I'm thankful that my letter got to Mexico safe and sound with the Men of Faith team. There's still no sign of my Christmas card… perhaps I should just give up on it. Who knows, it might've gone to some random Mexican house and they are looking at the photos that I put with the card… But the weird thing is, I confirmed the address with  pastor Rolando when he came last month and he said it was correct. So I'm really curious… what happened to it?!!! If it had the wrong address, it should've been returned to me. Right?

Anyways… I'm proud of myself today:) I finally went back to the gym! The last time I went was before Mexico, which was June or July of last year. Yeah… I'm so bad. But, I have my reasons! Remember my knee injury? That kept me away from working out. Thankfully, it's healing I think. It is hurting less and less compared to before. I'm gonna try exercising regularly again. I trust that it is possible, because I've done it before! Sadly, I had popeyes right after my workout… so I pretty much worked out to eat more. Even so, I'm glad that I finally motivated myself to go back to the gym.

no.305 140301 Thank you for another celebration with friends

Hand-made cards for the couple

Another couple got married today. What a beautiful wedding it was! As usual, I looked at the groom's face when the bride walked in. He was crying - it was tears of joy indeed. It touched my heart and I teared up as well:') I'm thankful for the relationship I built with the bride through the life group last year, and their marriage today. I pray for God's blessing in the couple's life together as they begin a great journey.

I need to finish making my card for the newlyweds and I'm off to the dinner reception!