no.245 131231 Thank you for an amazing year

Thinking about my first mission trip to Mexico. View from Cerro del Quatro.

John 15:1-17.

John 15 has the famous parable about Jesus as the vine and we Christians as branches. These verses were given to me earlier this year by a friend of mine. She was my life group leader last year, and we’ve been keeping in touch through church, and also outside the church. When she shared this chapter with me, she had told me that it reminded her of me. At that time, I didn’t see any connection. I was thinking, out of all the verses in the Bible, why these? I read it over and over and I couldn’t relate to the verses at the time. So I didn’t really go back to it until after summer I think.

I began to process the verses at the end of the summer, and things became a little bit clearer. I began to understand and was able to relate to what God's been doing in my life since the beginning of the year. These verses in John talk about Jesus being the vine and we, the Christians as branches. If we remain in Him and He remains in us, He will bear fruit through us. Every branch that bears fruit, He will prune it so that it will be even more fruitful. On the other hand, the brach that doesn't bear fruit, He throws it away. If we bear fruit, then we are Jesus' disciples. 

The chapter also talks about how our love for God and obedience go parallel. If we love God, we must obey God. Because that's what Jesus did. He loved the Father, so Jesus obeyed God by dying on the cross for us. At the end of last year, God spoked to me about obedience. That's when I realized that I've been living a disobedient life, and I was upsetting God. Because God loves me so much, He didn't want to let me keep living a life that was distant from Him. He sent several people to speak to me about obeying Him. As you can see, one of them was my life group leader, as she shared this particular passage from the Bible.

From that point on, I repented and told God that I want to stop living as a disobedient child but as an obedient one. And God began to change me little by little... and here, at the end of another year, I can say that I've changed a lot, although there are still many times where I need God's help to be obedient. However, I still give thanks to God and praise Him for changing me this much, and not letting go of me.

And here is a list of main events that happened in year 2013 for me:

-got confirmed... finally!
-created a band for fun although we only got to practice once
-made first blog and was consistant on updating daily
-joined softball league for the first time and realized I'm not that bad at sports
-first mission trip happened and God revealed so much to me
-built a house with team members for a family without a proper home
-made my first fondant cake and it was successful
-met two pastors and got to know them personally
-taught at sunday school - something that I've always wanted to do since I was a kid
-took out my bike for a ride over the summer and fall
-joined basketball league for the first time and actually had fun
-helped out as a teacher during the children's Christmas presentation worship for the first time
-my first time making a donation through Compassion international with a group of thoughtful friends (I received all the donations at the Christmas party, but haven't got to send the gift yet. It will happen very soon!)

I am so thankful that I'm tearing up as I write this post. There were some rough and tough times throughout the year with emotional and physical pains of life, but now I can say it was all worth the pain. Because thanks to all the hard times, I've grown this much and I am that much more like Jesus. Yes, I can't compare myself to Jesus, but at least I'm on the right track. Right?

I took some time to pray to God before writing this very last post for 2013. Looking back at the year, I can only say one thing. God is good. He's been good all my life, He is good at this very moment, and He will always be. I praise You Lord for Your faithfulness and Your overflowing love for me! Thank you for letting me end this year with You!

no.244 131230 Thank you for the time alone

The Christmas gift I got from last night. Love Lush bath bombs!

I needed it. I needed some time alone to reflect year 2013 and to plan for the New Year. At the end of the year, I always take time to write everything that I'm thankful for and create a New Year's resolution. This year, there's no need of making the first list because I've got everything on my blog! Well, since I started in May, I should still cover the first quarter. And so, tomorrow's entry will entail a list of main events that happened to me in 2013.

I probably already said this before but I'm gonna say it again. I really can't believe this year is over! It's sad to see it go because this year was the best year of my life yet. However, I can't wait to see what God's plan is for me in the New Year so I'm not terribly sad to say adieu.

I want to share one of my favourite songs by Hillsong. I mean, it's hard to choose one so I have a lot of favourites...haha. But here's one I want to share it with you today.

Through it All - Hillsong

You are forever in my life

You see me through the seasons

Cover me with Your hand

And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You

And I wait on You

I'll sing to You, Lord, a hymn of love

For Your Faithfulness to me

And I'm carried in everlasting arms

You'll never let me go through it all

We'll sing, Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

no.243 121329 Thank you for the last Sunday of the year

Look at all that food!

Today's the last Sunday of 2013. Very soon, I will post up the year end summary. I've been working on it, but I'm not sure how I should share it... Anyways, yeah... I can't believe another year is almost gone. However, it's been an awesome year for me and I praise God for every single event that occurred in my life this year.

I know it sounds bad, but I was extremely exhausted this whole week and I couldn't get up this morning. I missed my alarm and I slept in. I felt extra bad because today's the last Sunday, and it's also the last service before the united worship that will take place starting in the new year. That led me to think about the times I missed church this year. I'm not sure if it was once or twice. One time for sure because it was a couple of Sundays after Mexico. I had a really bad stomachache so I couldn't leave home. The second time was also when I was sick from a different kind of stomachache. That time was close to Easter, but I can't remember if I missed the Good Friday service or the Sunday service. I think it was the Good Friday service, because I got confirmed on Easter Sunday. Hmm, then I guess that doesn't count. So, including today, I missed two Sundays this year. I hope that I won't miss a Sunday in 2014! And.. I'm so sorry God for missing today's service.

There was a Christmas party with my church friends tonight. It was a fun night of good food, laughter and friendship. I'm also thankful that my friends willingly continued for the donation to help the poor through the Compassion International. I can't wait to send a gift on behalf of our group. I'm really thankful. Like really, really!

Dear friends, 

Thank you for your donations! Your thoughtfulness is much appreciated. I surely know that your gifts will be used to help our neighbors in need. I know that this will put a big smile on God's face. 

no.242 131228 Thank you for my university friend

After work, I met up with one of my university friends. She now lives in Korea, as she is enrolled in law school. She is one of my closest and longest friends from university. I remember, I first saw her in a dance class in the student center. I joined the class with a couple of friends so at the time, I didn't bother talking to her. A few days later, I saw her in one of my classes. So I went next to her to say hi and told her that we were in the same dance class. By the way, if you're curious, I joined street jazz. I remember dancing to "Ain't no sunshine" by Bill Withers. I'm pretty adventurous you know.

Anyways, since then, we became friends. Really good friends. I'm happy that she's back home for the holidays this year. I'm thankful that we were able to catch up over a lovely meal! I'm thankful to have a good friend like her. I hope to see her again before she returns to Korea. I missed you my friend, and it sure was pleasing to see you today:)

Oh, and one more thing. While I was working today, I helped a Spanish speaking couple. They looked like Mexicans so I asked them where they were from... And I was right! They were indeed from Mexico! You won't know how excited I was when I found that out. I told them that I was in Guadalajara in the summer, and how much I miss it. And then their friends came, and the first couple told me that their friends are from Guadalajara! I got super excited!! I told them that I was in Santa Maria, Bella Vista and Manzanillo. It was exciting to see a Mexican who knew of these towns that I was referring to. Oh man, how I miss thee Mexico. I hope that God will send me again next Summer.

no.241 131227 Thank you for the Tim card

Covered in snow...

I finished work late today and as usual, I was starving. I didn't want to wait until I got home because it will be too late. I had a Tim card that I got from one of my students at Sunday school for Christmas. So I decided to stop by Tim Hortons on my way home. I got my self a snacker wrap and a scoop of ice cream. 

 

I was full by the time I finished my wrap, but it didn't quite satisfy me. I know it's bad, but I came home and ate more... and I am bloated! It was a bad idea because I need to wake up early tomorrow.

no.240 131226 Thank you for a year-end reunion with my high school friends

Snow on top of frozen branches

At the end of the year, my friends and I always gather for a year-end dinner. It's or tradition since we graduated from high school. Although we have less than a half of the group, we still met up because one of the guys who now live in New Jersey came home for Christmas. It was nice catching up with them this holiday. We were talking about taking a trip down to Florida in the new year to visit two of our friends. It would be awesome if all of us can finally be at one place for once! I really hope it can happen!

I'm really thankful for my high school friends. We were all good kids growing up. I'm thankful for our friendship, and also where God has placed each of us in different professions and different areas. Literally, every single one of us is different! I pray that God will bless each of us in our lives, and also guard and flourish our friendship. In also pray for my friend who's driving back to New Jersey tomorrow, for a safe drive back. I also pray for another friend, who will be leaving for Edmonton in the weeks to come for his new job. I pray that You will help him settle down in the foreign place and that he will gain a lot of experience through his new job.

no.239 131225 Thank you for a white Christmas

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas..."

I used to always wish for a white Christmas. Just because it looks beautiful and I just love waking up to a quietly snowing Christmas morning. There's that warm feeling, if you know what I mean. This year was a little bit different, as I didn't even wish for a white Christmas. And there you go, we have a white beautiful Christmas day in Toronto. In fact, it's the most beautiful one I've ever seen yet - because of the ice storm, the trees are still crystallized and the snow is now piling up on top of the ice. It's quite a sight.

My family and I went out to take some photos in the park, and the sight of absolutely stunning! I'm thankful for this white Christmas of 2013! I'm thankful that God has given a Son for us because He loves us so much. Thank You God for reaching down to us even if you didn't have to. Thank You for Your overflowing love and grace for me. I'm thankful that I am spending this Christmas with my family. There was no tree, and no gift exchange with my family (well, kind of because I still did some gift shopping and made some cards as you know) but I liked how I wasn't too focused on the worldly "Christmas spirit" this year.

I hope you're having a thankful Christmas this year as well. May you be joyful because of the birth of the Son, the greatest gift of all.

Merry Christmas!

no.238 131224 Thank you for Christmas eve

What a beautiful view!

There's about 45 minutes left until Christmas. I'm just watching a christmas movie with my family at home. I'm tired from working today but I'm actually okay because I know it's Christmas tomorrow!

I'm thankful for another Christmas, especially because I have my family with me this year. Plus, God have me such a wonderful gift - the frosted trees! Outside looks beautiful with all the frozen trees and branches!

no.237 131223 Thank you for the electricity

Even the evergreens have turned into beautiful crystals.

On my way home from work, I noticed that many buildings still had no lights. Some of the buildings that were pitch black included the ones my friends live. I texted some of them to see how they were doing, and some said they were at a friend's place, and some told me that they are staying at a hotel. The traffic lights were still unavailable on some streets, including main intersections. I heard that many people are still without power. Even the condos just across the street from me have no lights. Apparently, a lot of places won't get electricity until Christmas... it will be an interesting Christmas this year. I'm thankful that I have electricity at home, and I hope that the power will be fixed soon and set people free from uncomfortable conditions!

no.236 131222 Thank you for keeping us safe

Still, it's beautiful to look at.

Crazy freezing rain + ice storm in Toronto last night. I gave myself extra 10 minutes for church because I didn't know what the road conditions will be like. As I have imagined, there were no traffic lights from my street until I got to church. The frozen trees have fallen, and they were blocking off the side walks and the streets. I arrive a bit earlier than my service time and when I got there, there was my pastor, the praise team and a few people. We even started the service a little bit late but still, there were way less people than usual by the end of the service. A lot of people that I've spoken to told me that they didn't have power at home, and some even without water. I had a power outage last night and had some problem with the internet, but I got the electricity back by morning. I'm thankful that I am safe and sound along with my family and friends. I pray that God will keep people in Toronto and throughout Ontario safe through the ice storm.

no.235 131221 Thank you for the children's Christmas worship

I spent my afternoon at church for the children's Christmas worship service that was taking place today. It's the church's annual event, but it's my first time being there. In fact, it's my first time attending an event like that as a teacher so it got me a bit excited.

The children in the preschool department were to sing "Angels we have heard on high" with some actions. Before the service, all the children gathered to rehearse with their angel costumes. They were just adorable! They are so cute in my eyes, but that must mean they are hundred times cuter to their parents, and that must also mean they are thousand times adorable to Jesus. Some children are just mini-me versions of their parents, and wow, they look exactly like their mom or dad. It makes me wonder how my future children will look like. It must be so cute to have a daughter who looks like me and to have a son who looks like my future husband. How exciting it will be as parents to watch your children grow, love and seek God.

Recently, I've been thinking about my future children. Well, to be exact, I want my own children. However, in order to do that I need to find my future husband and get married first. So unfortunately, I won't be meeting my future children until a few years later. But I don't worry, because it will all happen in God's perfect time.

It reminded me of my childhood, when I was just a little girl. The church I attended in Korea had two main chapels - one was in the main building where the regular adult service took place, and the other one was older place, made out of wood (if I'm not mistaken) and from what I remember, we only went there for special service for Christmas. I don't remember myself on the stage as a kindergartener, but I remember singing with the choir for Christmas. For one Christmas, we sang a medley of worship songs and I think I still have a copy of the music. In fact, I kept many of the songs that we performed when I was in the children's choir at my church in Korea. We even went on a competition one year but we didn't do an outstanding job, but it was a nice experience. I wish my current church has a choir because I would definitely join again. Don't get me wrong - I'm not a good singer but I love to sing! I hope to one day join a choir again and praise God through the voice He's given me.

no.234 131220 Thank you for the life group Christmas baking party

Merry Christmas

My life group girls and I met up for the last time to bake some cookies for Sunday's service. It's the Sunday before Christmas, so we thought it would be nice to put some Christmas spirit in it. We baked some cookies and decorated in red and green icing! It would've been nicer if we baked the cookies from scratch but since we didn't have enough time, we just decorated "nicely." It was pretty much a cookie factory for the last few hours. By the end of the night, I think everyone got extremely tired from all that baking and decorating. Plus, we were snacking some cookies in the process, so we were high on sugar...haha. I ended up crying from laughing so hard!

I'm thankful for my life group girls. Throughout the year, we were able to encourage each other, challenge each other and pray for each other. I would like to join it again next year and keep growing in Christ with these wonderful ladies. Thanks girls for a great year!

no.233 131219 Thank you for the Chirstmas card sent to Mexico

Merry Christmas all the way from Canada!

I love making cards and writing cards, probably because I love receiving cards and letters from people. Every year, I try my best to come up with a pretty design and send it to friends and family. I guess the reason I started making Christmas cards this year was because of this. I wanted to send a Christmas card to Pastor Rolando whom I've met in Mexico in the summer when I went on my mission trip with my church. I got some photos developed to put in the card for Pastor Rolando and his family. I had a pretty long list to begin with, but it's getting revised everytime I re-make the list. It's just that it's taking a while to make them since it does require a lot of time and thought - I have to cut the paper, cut out the shape, cut the fabric, cut the ribbon and the twine and put everything together with a glue gun. I made about ten cards so far, and I think I'm going to stop here... I'll probably make a few more for my family and that would be it. If I had the time I would keep going because I would love to write a pretty little card to all of my close friends.

Nowadays, people don't send cards to eachother... and this makes me sad. Emails and facebook messages are nice, but there is something about the hand-written letter. When you receive a stamped card or a letter in your mail, there is that surprise aspect which moves your heart. I guess emails and instant messages can do that too, but definitely not as holding an actual card in front of you, and reading the personally hand-written card. I enjoy reading the person's writing, and sometimes the pictures they draw. I have a box full of cards and letters that I received from my friends for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I would take them out and read it again at my leisure. Some cards, you just read it over and over again until you can memorize the message. I just love, love, love receiving the cards. If you've received a hand-written card or a letter before, you'd know what I mean.

Aside from that, I want to share one verse from the Bible with you. I got this verse from the daily verse app today. It's been my prayer throughout the day. I hope that I can take delight in God every single moment, so that God can reveal His desires in my heart.

"Take delight in the Lord,

and He will give you the desires of your heart"

 

Psalm 37:4

no.232 131218 Thank you for presents all wrapped and pretty

Pretty little gifts wrapped up in Chrstmas colours

I'm done! Well, sort of. I'm almost done my Christmas shopping. I still need to get my sister a present and I am finished!! Hopefully I'm not forgetting anyone! I didn't ask anyone to buy me a gift because of two reasons: this year, I want to donate to compassion international, and second, I need to get a new laptop. My computer is now officially done. Since yesterday, I've been updating my blog on my phone. And it will be a big investment because I want to switch to a Mac from a pc. I'm planning on getting one on boxing day. I don't think Apple has good deals for that day  but ill still check it out.

Getting a gift for my sister is tricky, mostly because I want to surprise her. I wanted to get it all done before she comes home but at this point, I'm not sure if that's happening! She's coming home tomorrow so I don't have much time left. I hope I can figure something out by tomorrow!

I  prepared a few presents for people who I'm thankful for. Yes there are numerous people that I'm thankful for in my life, but since I can't buy all of them a gift, I selected a few. Its a small token of appreciation. I hope they like it! 

no.231 131217 Thank you for letting me dye my mom's hair

A quilted Christmas wreath made by my mom's friend

My mom has a lot of white hair. Sad, but she's got my grandma's genes so her hair started to turn grey pretty early. My dad is older than my mom and his hair only started turning grey a couple of years ago. My hair used to be really black, but it looks more like brown now. I dyed it two years ago, but its impossible for the color to last this long. Plus it was really subtle and I could only notice it under the natural light.

 

I dyed my mom's hair today. The first time I helped her dye her hair was a pretty emotional moment for me. It reminded me of how old my is. Then I started to notice her hands getting wrinkly. And I hear my mom complain that her vision is weird. One by one, her physical body parts are weakening. It makes me sad whenever I see my parents complain about their back pain, knee pain, vision problem, and any other possible problems. I pray for my parents health and that God will give them physical strength and healing.

no.230 131216 Thank you for a thankful heart

Pretty vintage ribbons from Zara home!

I'm thankful for my thankful heart today. Sometimes I think, man, I really have a thankful heart, because I give thanksgiving to God for the smallest things and the most ordinary, simplest things. On the other hand, I think I complain all the time. I'm such a whiny and a cranky person, especially when I'm hungry. So I'm not sure if I'm a genuinely thankful person or not... but most of the time, I think I am a thankful person. I praise God for giving me this thanksgiving heart for God!

no.229 131215 Thank you for a group of wonderful preschool teachers

Thank you for this team dear God!

My preschool pastor invited the teachers and I for Christmas dinner party at her place. I wanted to make something for all the teachers as well, so I quickly came home after church and started baking. I had some leftover buttercream frosting from yesterday, when I baked some cupcakes for my life group girls. So I made another batch of chocolate cupcakes with white chocolate buttercream.

 

Dinner was amazing! My pastor prepared a delicious meal and we just had a good time of food and fellowship. The teachers enjoyed cupcakes! That's the best part of baking... when you see the people enjoying what you made. Whether its "mmmmm" or "wow, its so good" or a thumbs up, they all mean a lot to me. Thanks guys! It was also a farewell to two of the teachers. I'm so sad that they are leaving the ministry, but I know that God has another plan for them. They've been so good to the children, and many times I was encouraged by them. They are siblings and both have such a big heart for God. I'm really thankful that I met them through serving in the preschool department. They've been such a big support to me! I will miss you guys! 

 

There are two Sundays left until the new year, and the children's Christmas presentation this coming Saturday. I look forward to serving with you for the remaining December, and also  in the new year! 

no.228 131214 Thank you for a reunion with a friend

My "North Pole" cupcake!

A friend of mine came to Toronto for the weekend from Montreal. I met up with him for a couple of hours for lunch to catch up. It was nice seeing him and just talk about whats been going on with eachother's life. We used to be neighbours so we hung out pretty often before he moved. Im glad we were able to meet up even though it was pretty brief.

 

Other than that, beautiful snow outside! Its our first snow storm, and it's cold but beautiful!

no.227 131213 Thank you for a fun friday night

Christmas baking!

My way of destressing is this: put on my favourite music out loud, get the recipe that I wanted to try it out and bake, and while mixing ingredients and waiting for the baked goods to come out from the oven, dance!

My playlist varies from time to time, but since 'tis the season to be jolly, I was listening to Christmas carols. I couldn't play the music out loud because my dad was taking a nap, but loud enough that I could hear it and sing along. I baked some chocolate cupcakes with white chocolate buttercream for tomorrow's life group meeting. I saw this cute 'North Pole' cupcake design so I wanted to decorate it like that, but it didn't look as nice as I expected... so I'm just gonna sprinkle it with some Christmas colours. Well, I'm really glad the cupcakes and the frosting came out nice! Many times I run in to problems when making the icing. I guess it was my lucky day. The icing came out amazing. I still need to work on my icing skills... so it doesn't look that pleasing. Oh well, it tastes good:)

Afterwards, I wrapped some Christmas gifts. I put a lot of thought and detail to it. You'll see it when I post up the picture. I don't want to post up the picture today, because I want to keep it a surprise. I already ruined the surprise last time when I uploaded a photo of the cards I made. Yeah.. that was a bad idea. I'm very excited to give these presents to my friends. I hope they appreciate all the time I put in to choose and wrap their presents!

Lastly, I sort of finished making my Christmas cards. I just need to work on a few more for my family and I will be done! At first, I had a really long list of people to write a card to. However, making cards are not that easy! Coming up with designs are difficult... although I do search online for inspirations. So far I made two designs and I'm proud to say that they are my own. So, friends, when you do receive a Christmas card, know that it's a one-of-a-kind. It's made just for you!

no.226 131212 Thank you for a girls night out

That cocktail was sooooo fruity and sweet, just the way I like it.

A long awaited girls night out happens tonight. My girlfriends and I have been planning to have one over a month now, and it's finally taking place tonight! It's because we were busy with our lives, and we all took turns getting sick, and now we're all better and ready to go out! We're going to a Spanish tapas place, and have some food, cocktails and of course, girltalks! It's my first time trying Spanish cuisine. I see the relevance with Mexican food... and browsing the menu takes me back to Mexico. I got all excited to see "empanada" and "chorizo" on the menu. Oh how I miss thee Mexico!

no.225 131211 Thank you for my grandma's kimchi

This isn't part of the package. It's something I bought:)

A big package arrived from Korea. It was from my grandma. When I spoke with my grandma last week, she said she made some chong-gak-kim-chi for my family and that she'll be sending it for us. She asked me if I needed anything, and I told her there wasn't anything. She remembered what kind of cookies and candies I liked so she said she'll be sending those as well if there is an extra room in the box. I was really surprised when I received the parcel today, because it was HUGE. It wasn't just the kimchi, she also sent a duvet for me. Well, that's something my mom had bought when she was in Korea, but she wasn't able to bring it with her because her luggage was absolutely full.

I'm thankful for my grandma to send me such a big package full of love. She's sent us kimchi from Korean numerous times, and it sure is her way of expressing love towards me and my family. I'm thankful my thoughtful grandma and the delicious chong-gak kimchi (it's one of my favourite kimchi!).

It seems like I'm sharing one song every day. It's a good thing, right? Anyways, this is a new song that I learned at church a couple of Sundays ago. It sounds really familiar - perhaps you'll feel the same when you listen to it too. Here it is: Beautiful Saviour by PlanetShakers.

Beautiful Saviour (PlanetShakers)

Jesus, Beautiful Saviour
God of all majesty, Risen King
Lamb of God, Holy and righteous
Blessed Redeemer, Bright morning star

All the heavens shout Your praise
All creation bows to worship You

How wonderful, How beautiful
Name above every name

Exalted high
How wonderful, How beautiful
Jesus Your name
Name above every name, Jesus

I will sing forever
Jesus I love You
Jesus I love You

no.224 131210 Thank you for the prayer time

Candy canes!

While I was waiting for my mom in the car for her appointment, I had a great opportunity to pray out loud. I like praying aloud when I'm alone. It's just that there aren't that many times where I am alone at home so I would usually whisper or just pray in my head before going to bed. At first, I was singing along to my Hillsong playlist. And then it got me thinking about something, which then converted to time of prayer. As I prayed, God gave me a thanksgiving heart towards something that happened a while ago. It's something that happened years ago between my friend and I, and I always questioned why and felt bitter towards that broken relationship. He was one of my closest friends so when something bad happened to our relationship, it gave me a hard time. I would say it's mended now, at least that's what I like to think. But I recently realized that I'm actually very thankful for that experience my friend and I had. When it initially happened, I seriously couldn't believe that it had happened. And it seemed like both of us went the wrong way ever since our broken relationship. When he shared his story earlier this year, it seemed like he wasn't the only one off track during the time we didn't talk. However, when I look at where I am and where he is now, I can only praise God and be grateful for what had happened. We both grew spiritually, and I'm so proud of him on what he's doing at this very moment. During my prayer time today, I was surprised to find these words come out from my mouth. I prayed to God "it was worth all the struggles, for not only how much I have grown, but also how much my friend has grown."

There are always struggles in our life. I don't understand why it's happening and I tend to question God why such a heartbreaking, troublesome event is going on in my life. It might be hard at the moment, and I may not understand what in the world is going on. However, I know my God is sovereign and He is omniscient. As long as He knows what's going on, that's all that matters. I know I will be scared and worried about the unclear visions in my life, but I must leave everything in God's hand. Even if I go through another hardship, I know that God will be with me and He will help me get through it. I know He won't give me the problem if it's something that I can't handle it. And once I get through it with God's help, I will be one step closer to being like Jesus and I know this will put a smile on God's face.

It's totally random but I feel like sharing this song with you - "This Gift" by 98 Degrees. It's so 90s and it's so cheesy. You'll know what I mean when you watch the video. Still, it's one of my favourite Christmas songs! Enjoy:)

no.223 131209 Thank you for letting my computer come back to life

Thanks for staying with me for the past 7 years laptop.

A couple of nights ago, my laptop died on me as soon as I was done with my blog. I tried turning it on but it was no use. I made sure that it was plugged properly, and tried pressing the power button again. Nothing was happening. I gave it about 10 minutes and tried to restart it, and thank God, it did restart. I was too tired that night, so I ended up shutting it down without making sure it was working okay. Last night, I wrote the post for my blog from my phone so I didn't get a chance to check if my computer came back to life or not. Currently, I am updating my blog from my laptop... which means everything is back to normal! I didn't lose any data so I'm glad:) I'm thankful that my laptop is still functioning after 7 years, and even after if died on me a couple of nights ago. However, I should take it as a sign to look for a new laptop.... like seriously this time.

Oh by the way, there's a song I'd like to share with you today. It's called the "Moon Song" by Bob Schneider. I recently found out about the song while I was working. The reason I like it is probably because of the beat - it's got that bossa nova feel to it. Hope you enjoy!

no.222 131208 Thank you for the Christmas card making time

Christmas cards hand-made especially for you<3

After church, I had some free time so I decided to use it for something special. What did I do? I made some Christmas cards! I already posted a photo of the finished cards on Instagram... it looks nice but I regret posting it because, now it ruins the surprise. Oops.. I'm not smart like that. Oh well. Gotta think of more designs. Regardless, I had a great time listening to Christmas carols while making cards for special people in my life. Oh yes, I'm excited to send a card to pastor Rolando in Mexico. I'm trying to get everyone on the team to sign the card.I hope his family will like it!

no.221 131207 Thank you for this feeling that I don't know what it is

Do you ever have those days when you're just filled with thanksgiving heart that you're overjoyed? For some reason I feel like that right now. I'm not sure what it is, but God is definitely stirring my heart. It's just unstoppable and uncontrollable, if you know what I mean. I’ve been showing this symptom since afternoon I believe. I can’t really trace down how and why I began feeling this way, but yeah… I'm not sure what's going on. But I feel so excited about something. My heart is racing, I have goose bumps on my arms and I feel that chill in my body. And no, I'm not sick.

Today was the last discipleship class. I will miss going to church on Saturday mornings and learning about becoming Jesus' disciple with three lovely ladies. It was definitely a time of learning and also a blessing experience for me. I sure hope to continue our relationship as sisters in Christ so that we can challenge and encourage one another.

Anyways, sorry for the really vague title. But I really don't know what is causing me to feel this way. By the way, my post got delayed a little bit because I took some time praying about this feeling as I was working on my blog. I don't know, maybe I'm just excited about Chirstmas?

no.220 131206 Thank you for the cloudy day

You know what I realized today? I realized that the first thing I do as I walk outside, when it's dark out, is to look up. I see if the sky is clear enough to see the stars. I think it's become a habit. I search for the stars because that's what makes me happy. Lately, I haven't been able to because the weather didn't cooperate with me. Now that it's winter, there is another thing I do. I check if it's snowing. I wasn't able to see neither the stars nor the snow tonight. It would be nice to see the snow since it's winter and all, but we haven't gotten any sunlight in a while. Although weather in December can be pretty depressing, I'm still thankful for today. We have to have days like this (gloomy, grey and cloudy) in order to appreciate days that are prettier with bright sunshine or fluffy snowflakes. So, I'm thankful for this cloudy day, although it makes me super tired and sleepy!

no.219 131205 Thank you for the Chinese proverb

From "Teaching to Change Lives"

I hear, and I forget.
I see, and I remember.
I do, and I understand.

-Chinese proverb

I came across this proverb in the book I've been reading "Teaching to Change Lives" by Howard Hendricks. The author goes on and makes one addition -  "when you do, the result is more than understanding; you also change." While I was reading this at a library, I stopped for a minute to think about it. The best thing I could relate to was my experience in Mexico. I was thinking about how my perspective changed about the poor, and also about missions in general, before and after my short term trip to Mexico.

I hear, and I forget.
Often times I hear people's testimonies after their mission trips. Missionaries come to speak about their ministries around the world. I even go to prayer meetings to pray for the missionaries partnered with my church. The stories through them move my heart when I listen. I wipe my tears as they speak, and I feel angry in my heart for the injustice. But that's it. There is no action taken afterwards mostly because I forget. I fail to think about them again.

I see, and I remember.
I'm a visual learner, so I tend to learn better when I have a visual aid rather than just hearing one talk. It also gives me a bigger impact when I see, for instance a photo or a video of the poor, compared to listening to a missionary speaking about how he needs help with his ministry. When I was an undergrad, I got a chance to go on some retreat, and one speaker showed multiple images of North Korea and the poverty and their condition of living. It left me heartbroken, especially because they are my neighbour, and also my family (my grandpa came from the north part of Korea before the war broke out). Therefore, those images left a big impression not just in my mind, but in my heart.

I do, and I understand. Furthermore, I change.
I still remember all the emotions I had when I first encountered the family in Cerro del Quatro in Mexico. Building a house with my team for this poor family who didn't have a proper shelter, made me understand the reality of the poverty. Serving food to the children who were malnourished, helped me understand of the hunger. After being apart of Mexico, I was finally able to understand. It's no longer something that will be forgotten. I now not only remember, but fully understand. Furthermore, it led me to reflect on my own personal life, and influenced me to change my lifestyle.

I can't say that I'm a totally changed person, because I am still working on it. The way I think, the way I act, the way I speak, the way I spend my time and money... these are all the areas I have to keep working on to be like Jesus. Earlier today, I had some time to reflect on how I've been living my life since Mexico. It's been 4 months since I came back from the mission trip. Am I still the person that I wanted to be when I just returned from Mexico? How is my life different from the way I've been living before my mission trip? Am I still keeping up with the promises I made to myself and to God? I'm thankful that I came across the Chinese proverb in the book, and I got a chance to deeply think about it.

no.218 131204 Thank you for a slow day at work

My work day was a real slow one. Yesterday was pretty quiet but it was even worse today. We received a shipment earlier this week for our new collection. We just had so much time, all of us ended up doing a little fashion show for fun. Plus, I got to read an article on desiring God blog and memorize my bible verse for the discipleship class. Yay!

no.217 131203 Thank you for a special Christmas gift idea

Something I'd like to bake for Christmas.

I came across an article on desiringGod website yesterday. The title goes like this: "Five things to teach your children this Christmas." No, I'm not married and I don't have my own children, but I do have children that I teach at Sunday school. I want to keep these five points as we began advent a couple of days ago.

During the last discipleship class, the leader was sharing about how her family stopped exchanging Christmas presents with each other. Instead, they collected that money and purchased more meaningful gift through the Compassion website to help the needy in the poor countries. It was really cool that she brought it up during that particular meeting, because I was on the Compassion website just earlier that week, browsing gift options. Anyways, her family started the tradition since her son was in his sixth grade, which I think is amazing. It's certainly hard to compromise on presents with children. I remember praying so earnestly as a kid to get the toy I wanted for Christmas from Santa, and of course, I received another persent from my parents as well. Her son is now in his second year of university, so they've been doing it for a while. Since a couple of Christmases ago, God challenged me to see something beyond the Christmas lights, presents underneath the tree, and everything glittery in gold, red and green. Last year, I wanted to try something different, and that's when I began to think differently about how I spend my Christmas. I thought about what I could do on a Christmas morning. Sadly, I didn't put anything into action.

This year will be different. I'm gonna start a tradition this Christmas. Some of my friends from church gather together at the end of the year for a Christmas party. Yes it is fun exchanging gifts and all, but I thought it'd be really nice and special if we collected the money and make a donation on behalf of our group. There will be about 20 of us at the party I believe... and we're all bringing something upto $20 per person, which means we can raise $400, and we can give a real sweet gift to a family in Mexico. I suggested this idea to my friends on Sunday over lunch and not many people seemed to like my idea... I'm not surprised. It seems like they want to keep the secret santa portion of the party. Well, that is the fun part indeed. So I was thinking about other ideas to get my friends think participate in this. My next suggestion will be spending half on a gift and half on donation. What do you think? If not, then we will just have a donation box on the side... but I'm pretty positive this won't work. Perhaps it'll work better with my life group girls? If it doesn't work with both groups, then, I can do it with my family or even on my own I guess. Regardless, I'm really excited about this idea. I can't believe it took twenty something years for me to come up with this idea. Man, how stupid was I this whole time? I'm thankful that I'm a little bit wiser compared to last year:)

no.216 131202 Thank you for the day off

Teaching to Change Lives - Howard Hendricks

It was my day off, and I spend the majority of my day at a Starbucks in the neighbourhood with a friend of mine. I took my laptop to do some job search, and a book called "Teaching to Change Lives" by Howard Hendricks. I have to finish this book by Saturday for my last discipleship class. I started reading this book last Sunday, when I took my mom to the hospital. That time, I couldn't really concentrate, so I only read foreword. At Starbucks, I read the first chapter about "The law of the teacher."

To summarize the chapter, let me share what Hendricks wrote: "if you stop growing today, you stop teaching tomorrow." You can't teach what you don't know. You must truly know it in order to give to your students. As I was reading the chapter, I constantly reflected on myself as a preschool teacher at the Sunday school. How am I doing as a teacher? What am I doing well? What areas am I lacking in? Am I doing anything to improve? These are some important questions I need to constantly ask myself as a teacher, yet I am not doing a great job at it.

Hendricks pin pointed out many good ideas, but there was one thing that I wanted to challenge myself right away. I wanted to see how well I know my students. When I finished the chapter, I opened up my prayer journal and wrote down the names of my students. In alphabetical order, I wrote their names down, and I thought about five things about each child. About their family, what they're good at, how they behave in the class, and even what they don't like to eat during the snack time. I thought it would be easy to come up with five things about each student. You know what? It was easy with some students, but for some, I couldn't think about anything more than a couple of things. It made me feel horrible. One area that I started applying to my life and myself as a teacher at the preschool ministry is this - knowing my students.

One thing I'm still thankful about is that although I lack this much, God still uses me. I'm thankful that He is revealing my areas of improvement through this book. I'm grateful for this opportunity to challenge myself and hopefully there is still a room for me to grow and level up as a better teacher for my students.

To all the teachers out there - even Jesus grew in wisdom, in stature, in favour with God and in favour with men. Therefore, as disciples of Christ, we also ought to grow in every aspect of life. Being a teacher doesn't mean you know everything and don't need to grow.

no.215 131201 Thank you for giving me the strength to help a little child stop crying

Pretty dishes

Singing "How great is our God" made me emotional. It was the first time singing that song during the service ever since I got back from Mexico. I think I got even more emotional because one of our team members was a part of the praise team today. I was so close to tear up but I held it in. I'm thinking about sending a card to pastor Rolando in Mexico, so I had share that a bit with my pastor and one of my teammate.

During the preschool ministry today, I had a little bit of a challenge dealing with a really young student in my class. He has just turned three, so he started coming to the ministry. It's been a month I believe since he started, and every single time, he came with his dad or his mom. That's how the children in the ministry usually start. Because they're too young, they have a tough time being separated from their parents. Today was the little boy's first day being away from his parents. We were having snacks, and the dad said he was gonna leave after the snack time is over. He actually ended up leaving earlier. As soon as he walked our of the class room, the little boy started to cry. He was bawling. I dealt with a crying student before, but he just wouldn't stop crying. I ended up taking him outside to calm him down because the other children were getting distracted. I tried my best to get his mind off of his parents - tried to feed him cupcakes, talked about Christmas decorations at the church, his sister and so on. I held him for a long time until he finally stopped crying. I was so relieved that he stopped looking for his parents. Pheww... the only concern I had was that he might cry again during the worship time. Thankfully he didn't. He was so good until it was time to go home and his parents came to pick him up. I hope he won't cry next Sunday.

Oh yes, on a side note, my basketball team won the championship. Yeah! I'm so sad I couldn't play because of my injured knee... hopefully it will heal completely, so that I can join the league again in the future.