no.23 050523 Thank you for giving me the heart for missions

Homemade amaretti made by me. One of my favourite cookies.

I have just finished my short term mission application for the summer.

 

I was contemplating between two destinations - Mexico and Cambodia. For a while, I couldn't decide between the two. Then I was leaning towards to Cambodia because I wanted to serve at the orphanage that my church built some years ago. Although God didn't specifically say 'go to Cambodia', He gave me the heart to look after the orphans during my quiet times with Him. Receiving this message, I automatically thought Cambodia is the place where I need to be this summer. As I was preparing my application and myself for this country, I learned that the mission team won't be helping out at the orphanage because of the time conflict. Normally, the church will send the team around the time the children are on their summer vacation, but for some reason, this year's mission trip is scheduled earlier.

 

After hearing that, I was a little confused on where God wanted me to go. There were two other destinations, but I wasn't much interested in them. I started to pray for Mexico. I talked to my pastor about the short term trip to Mexico, as he will be leading the team. I learned that the Mexico team will be supporting a local church with the children's programs. I'm not sure if they're orphans or not though. On top of that, the team will be building houses for people without a place to live. So I figured, I like making things with my hands, so why not build a house? I've taken woodshop classes before, so I know how to use a bandsaw (yes, I totally looked that up just now). Well, I'm quite sure people won't use a standing electrical saw to cut pieces to make a house, but I'm trying to prove a point here - that I have experience working with saws and nails and hammers, and I can work at a construction site! I just suck at following instructions.. so as long as someone verbally says it out loud, then I will be fine, I think.

 

Once again, God hasn't clearly told me to go to Mexico. The only thing I'm certain is that He wants to send me to somewhere this summer. However, because I am pretty sure that my heart is not set on the other two countries (well, at least just this year), and the deadline for Cambodia passed already, I thought it must be Mexico. I will only find out if I do go in July. I'll keep you posted on this.

In the meantime, I am thankful that God gave me the heart for missions. It's something I wanted to go before, and I have tried in the past, but never got to. I pray that the time is right and also that the destination is right this time. If I go, it'll be my first mission trip ever. I am excited for this opportunity for my spiritual growth, but yes there is also a fear of the unknown. Even though I'm seen through media and heard stories about mission field numerous times, it's truly different if you're physically there, facing the reality. I know it's not gonna be easy. On top of spiritual challenge, there are other things I'm worried about. I'm a clean freak so I have to shower everyday. I'm scared of bugs and wild creatures. Cilantro makes me sick. I've heard bad things about the country. I have many weaknesses, and I don't know how I can be helpful... I can keep going. I know I will be spiritually, physically and even mentally challenged. But I also know that God is with me when I go through those times. One thing I know for sure is that if He calls me to do something, I know I will do it because God planned for it to happen. I want to be used by God. He will prepare me for the trip, and guide me through it with Holy Spirit. I pray that God will take away this worry and fear I have, and fill me up with confidence. I pray that He will turn my weaknesses into strengths as He uses me for His glory.