Do you ever have those days you want to be alone and cry? I hope I don't sound emo… but I feel like that right now. Or at least I did like an hour ago.
When my playlist randomly played music, I had to avoid the sad and slow songs because I was afraid that my tears would start dropping. I tried not to think of anything sad because I didn't want to cry. Just yesterday when my life group met up, we were talking about whether we feel comfortable crying in front of people. I shared that I'm not okay with this because I don't want to seem weak or vulnerable.
On my way home, I was thinking about a time when I cried in front of people. I don't recall that many memories, but I could think of the most recent one - at the church event when we were watching Nefarious… during the discussion time after the movie, I was sharing my thoughts and my tears rolled down my cheeks and it was uncontrollable. I felt embarrassed so I quickly ran to the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure most people feel this way. I mean, who wants to cry in front of others? I guess one thing that's good about crying in front of people is that you share the sadness and the emotions with them. They feel how you feel, and they connect with you. They can also comfort you just by their presence or with their actions or words. In times like this, you know and appreciate people around you who care about you. But there are also some times when you just want to cry alone and cry out loud. For me, I want to be alone when I want to cry or to pray out lout and seek for God's comfort. When I want to just cry for no reason, or because I am upset, and especially if I want to be alone but I can't, I watch a sad movie. There is a go-to movie when I want to cry (I'm not sure if I already shared this on my blog…). I would do this tonight, but because it's already midnight and I need to wake up early tomorrow. Therefore, I am gonna pass… I wouldn't want to wake up with big swollen eyes!
I think I feel better now. I think I was just moody this evening for some reason.
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