no.425 140629 Thank you for reminding me how to serve You

This morning, I got up earlier than I wanted because my parents were loud as they were getting ready for church. I was contemplating whether I should try to sleep a little more, or get up and do some work. There was a passage that was shared by my youth pastor and he strongly recommended that I read it, so I decide to get up and spend some time with God. It was from the last book of the Old Testament, Malachi. I thought it was interesting because it is one of the books in the Bible that I hardly read.

I just wanted to share a few things with you from Malachi 3: 6-18. It says in Malachi, that we are robbing God. At first, I wasn't sure what it meant. After reading another version of the Bible and reading commentaries, I came to understand that it meant that we are withholding something from God.  It doesn't necessarily mean that I am "stealing" money or a valuable object from God. It can also mean time or relationship, and everything else that God has give us to use it for God. God tells us to return these matters to God, if we want to received God's blessings. It is a straight forward thing but often times I fail to do this.

I also wanted to bring up the issue of serving God. With what kind of attitude did I serve God? Did I complain and grumble when I was serving Him? Or did I do with with the fear of the Lord? I realized that I've been physically and mentally tired from preparing for my mission trip and also preschool VBS, and that I've been complaining how tired and busy I was to my friends and family. Complaining about my circumstance is equal to questioning God's character. By doing that, we are putting ourselves above Him, thinking that we know better than our almighty God. It' saying that God doesn't know our circumstances, so we ought to figure something out by ourselves because who knows when God will respond our prayers, right?

I was reminded that I should be giving thanks to God who provided me with great opportunities to serve, and enjoying this time of preparation for Mexico and for VBS, as I only have a couple of weeks remaining. It was also a good time for me to look back at why I wanted to serve in these two teams, and also that I am doing all these things to please God.

No.421 140625 Thank you for the car

I love the days when I can take the car to work. It saves me time and I can go home comfortably. This rarely happens, but I had the access to the car today! It was even better because it was pouring outside. A friend of mine was warning me about the rain so I was kind of nervous as I was walking to the parking lot.

The rain was on and off and I tried to drive more carefully than how I would normally drive. I'm realizing I need to drive more careful...

no.418 140622 Thank you for the bake sale

Our team had a successful bake sale! I am so thankful that we had a great turn out. At the beginning of our team meeting, we were adding up the numbers that we have so far, and when we combined all the numbers we had... I was shocked to hear such a big number. We still need to work hard to reach our goal, but it was a great number to start with! I was reminded that if it is God who's plans for something, then God will make it happen. I felt so ashamed at myself for worrying that we may not have enough budget to do the construction in Mexico. I'm also thankful because it's now crystal clear that God wants our team to build a house for a family!

By the way, Korea lost… and it looks like there is a really slim chance for us to go to the next round… but we shall see. 

no.417 140621 Thank you for the CPR training

Korean walnut cakes!! Yummy!

I participated in a CPR training offered at my church. It was really long, as it began at 8:30AM and went on until 3:30PM. It was very informative. At the end of the training, I had to fill out a survey and there was a question that asked me whether I feel confident to help someone if I ever encounter a situation that needs any form of training. I wouldn't say I feel confident or comfortable, because if I ever see a stranger passed out on the ground, I know I would be scared to go up to him and help him. And I know I will panic for sure. But the main reason I joined this training was because of first aid and allergic reactions that I need to know to prepare myself better for the preschool ministry. It gave me a chance to take a look at how safety training is essential amongst the teachers in the ministry. On top of that, it gave me a chance to see which areas of safety concerns we need to improve on.

no.416 140620 Thank you for a downtown tour

Time for gelato!

Got a chance to drive downtown! No.. I dare not driving downtown! But I went down with my family because my sister was going away for the weekend. I had plans with a friend of mine, so I decided to come along and get dropped off. My family and I were trying to go to Harbour Front but the traffic and the construction was just so terrible, we were stuck and the one-way roads weren't helping either. So we had to make some changes in the plan, and it was time for me to go… Although it was a quick tour of Toronto downtown, I had fun driving down with my family and spend some family time, even if it was relatively short. It's something that I rarely do because my family likes to go to places without me… haha. I want to take my mom out for lunch or dinner ever since the weather got nicer, but it seems like I won't be able to make time for her until I get back from Mexico.

no.415 140619 Thank you for the three days off in a row

What a busy week, and a busy day it was. I'm just so thankful that I have the next three days off! Even though I have the following days off, I really won't have time to rest because I just have so much stuff going on. Still, I am free from work!

no.414 140618 Thank you for giving me the time to bake

There is no time for anything. I just don't have enough time. I thought I would have more time after the retreat, but I was wrong.

For the most part, I am caught up with Mexico missions planning. Although it seemed like there isn't much to do until I get to Mexico, I am realizing that there is a lot. And I mean A LOT. There are things that arise here and there that I need to take care of. And then, there is work… I'm not working over time but it's hard to balance an almost full-time job and other things. There is also preschool ministry, preschool VBS, life group meetings, family, friends and so on… I don't want to make an excuse, but I don't have time to have that intimate time with God. No, let me rephrase that. I am not making the time to spend with God. Nor, am I making the time for myself to just relax and be still for a moment. Thankfully, I'm not physically tired. However, I know that sooner or later, my energy will drain… and my body will be exhausted. I am mentally stressed as I am trying to fit everything and everyone in my schedule.

I also needed to bake something for this sunday for a fundraising bake sale for Mexico. And thankfully I had some time in the evening to do so! I hope the bake sale will go well, and that our team will be able to raise fund to build a house in Mexico!

no.413 140617 Thank you for keeping me safe in the storm

We had a storm this evening. When I was waiting for my bus at the subway station, the rain was pouring like crazy and the wind was super strong. This resulted in power outages in various neighbourhoods. On my bus ride home, I got text messages from two people - my dad and my Hi-C pastor, who is co-leading the Mexico mission trip. My dad was wondering if I was okay, and if I needed a ride home. Although I would have liked him to come pick me up for the sake of my own comfort, but I know he was tired from work. On top of that, I was sure that he wanted to watch the soccer game. So, I decided to be a good daughter and told him not to worry about getting me. Also, it didn't seem like it was gonna rain that hard when I was talking to my dad.

It was still fine when I got on the subway - cloudy, and some raindrops but nothing too serious. I was thinking that my dad was overreacting. It was a whole new world when I got off the subway. Dark, windy and heavy rainfall… all at the same time. I saw people completely wet from head to toe, carrying their broken umbrellas. Because the bus stop is connected to the subway, I didn't have to worry about getting wet. I felt bad for those people who got soaked, but it felt so refreshing to see and hear the rain for a bit. That's when I got a text from my Hi-C pastor. He was also worried about me because I told him when I will finish today. I was surprised to see this text because he's always mean to me… :) After responding to his text that I was okay, I wondered why people worry about me when it rains hard. I mean, it's just rain in the end. The worst thing that could happen to me is getting soaked in rain… no? But I felt grateful to know that there are people who care about me.

Another thing that got me worried was my phone. There's been a problem with my phone and sometimes it doesn't charge, and the battery runs out so quickly. I carry around the charger everywhere I go, but it doesn't seem to work… I either need a new battery or a new phone… sigh. My phone battery literally died as soon as I got home. I was able to make my last phone call home that I got to the station near my house. The whole time I was on the subway, I was wondering how bad the outside condition was going to be like. I was thinking that I might need to shower as soon as I get home, because I'd figured that I would be wet and gross by the time I get home. Strangely, when I got off the subway and walked towards the exit, I saw that the rain has stopped. Not completely, but I was able to walk without my umbrella if I wanted. Thankfully, the rain barely touched me on my way home from work!

no.412 140616 Thank you for a visitor from Korea

I'll be having a visitor for the summer!

I am super excited that my mentor teacher from Korea will be visiting Toronto for a month, thanks to the training course she has to take. I haven't seen her for the past 4 years, and oh boy am I so excited! I met her when I was in Korea for about a year, teaching English at an elementary school. She was a friend, a big sister and a mentor for me. She did so much for me - helping me find a place to stay, going to furniture shopping with me, picking me up and giving me a ride to the terminal, checking up on me when I'm sick, and the list goes on… I was really lucky to have her as my mentor teacher, and I really appreciated everything she did for me. Ever since I got back to Canada, we would email each other from time to time, but to be honest, it got harder to keep in touch as it's been 4 years since I left Korea. It's a good thing that she's coming to Toronto! I can't wait to see her again. It's my turn to give back to her!

no.411 140615 Thank you for my co-teacher

The raffle tickets are here!

Today was the last day of co-teaching with my partner teacher. He was my second co-teacher and I'm starting to think, and have shared with him that there must be something wrong with me since every co-teacher I've had so far is leaving the ministry and me! The first co-teacher left about five months after I joined. The second teacher who has left the team as of today, I think we've been partners for almost a year. Wow! I didn't even realize. I'm thankful that I was able to serve with him in the same ministry, and also as partners. I appreciate his servant heart, his willingness and just his presence in the class. He was always supportive and although he's a lot younger than me, I realize that I depended on him a lot. I will surely miss him, and co-teaching with him in our class. I will also keep him in my prayers as he focuses on school, and dedicates his time in other ministry that he's involved in. So, please do visit us from time to time!

By the way, the raffle tickets are made, and I'm selling them starting today! Please purchase them and make a donation for our team to build a house for a family in Mexico!

Oh, another by the way, happy Father's Day!… it clearly shows how my family doesn't really celebrate Father's day as much as Mother's day… haha.

no.410 140614 Thank you for drying up my tears

Do you ever have those days you want to be alone and cry? I hope I don't sound emo… but I feel like that right now. Or at least I did like an hour ago.

When my playlist randomly played music, I had to avoid the sad and slow songs because I was afraid that my tears would start dropping. I tried not to think of anything sad because I didn't want to cry. Just yesterday when my life group met up, we were talking about whether we feel comfortable crying in front of people. I shared that I'm not okay with this because I don't want to seem weak or vulnerable.
On my way home, I was thinking about a time when I cried in front of people. I don't recall that many memories, but I could think of the most recent one - at the church event when we were watching Nefarious… during the discussion time after the movie, I was sharing my thoughts and my tears rolled down my cheeks and it was uncontrollable. I felt embarrassed so I quickly ran to the bathroom.

I'm pretty sure most people feel this way. I mean, who wants to cry in front of others? I guess one thing that's good about crying in front of people is that you share the sadness and the emotions with them. They feel how you feel, and they connect with you. They can also comfort you just by their presence or with their actions or words. In times like this, you know and appreciate people around you who care about you. But there are also some times when you just want to cry alone and cry out loud. For me, I want to be alone when I want to cry or to pray out lout and seek for God's comfort. When I want to just cry for no reason, or because I am upset, and especially if I want to be alone but I can't, I watch a sad movie. There is a go-to movie when I want to cry (I'm not sure if I already shared this on my blog…). I would do this tonight, but because it's already midnight and I need to wake up early tomorrow. Therefore, I am gonna pass… I wouldn't want to wake up with big swollen eyes!

I think I feel better now. I think I was just moody this evening for some reason.

no.409 140613 Thank you for allowing me to be an inspiration to someone

Spain vs. Netherlands

I was looking forward to this game out of the three games playing today, and I am left in a big disappointment. Spain and Netherlands are both great teams and especially Spain, they are the world champions from four years ago, and number one in FIFA ranking… well who knows? Soon after this World Cup, they may no longer be in the first place. I don't have much information about the soccer players, but I recognize a lot of Spanish players… meaning, that it's time for them to retire. Although you start early, if I've seen you for the past two World Cups, then it's time for you to move on and give the younger guys a chance to play. Especially Casillas. There is a saying in Korea, which can be directly translated as "leave when you are applauded." I'm not sure if there is something similar in English but it basically means that you should leave when you are at your highest peak. Casillas is a great example because, apparently (although I don't remember) he blocked every goal in the World Cup 4 years ago. It was probably wise for him to just end his World Cup career then. If that was the case, then he will be remembered as the greatest goalie ever, or somewhere along those lines. However, because he decided to play again this year… see how many mistakes he's making. Well, I shouldn't be too quick to judge because Casillas still has two games to make up for his mistakes. We shall see…

Oh, I was encouraged today at work today. For the past week, the company's been looking for prospective employees, and one girl came for her interview today. When she was asked for a reason why she wanted to work for the company, her response, according to my manager was because someone in the company inspired her. And guess who that someone was…. me! I'm a little embarrassed because I don't really understand how I could inspire someone by what I do at work, because it's a really easy task. Plus, I got a glimpse of the girl and I do not remember seeing her before. However, if in fact anything I did inspired someone in any way, I'm grateful that I did what I did. It was a good reminder that at all times, I should be careful of how I act and what I speak of, especially because I'm a Christian. I hope that the next I can have an influence on people as a follower of Christ… that they may see Christ living in me, and that the aroma of Christ may seep through me to other people around me. 

no.408 140612 Thank you for the 2014 World Cup

2014 Brazil World Cup began today.

I would say that soccer is my favourite sport to watch. I used to be a huge soccer fan, back in the day when Korea used to be awesome… all I want is that Korea to make it to the 16th at least! I'd be really happy if that was the case. Come on team Korea! I'm rooting for you! 대~한민국!

no.407 140611 Thank you for healing most of the mosquito bites

Vintage Micky Mouse

It's been more than a week since I was eaten alive by mosquitos at the retreat. All the itch and the rash was going away… at least that's what it seemed like until a couple of days ago. Most spots have discoloured, but five out of twenty mosquito bites I got have started to flare up again. I have applied the after bite cream and it doesn't seem to work at all… I'm hoping that they will go away soon!

no.406 140610 Thank you for letting me realize how physically weak I am

I realized how physically weak I was. I went to the gym today with my sister, as a weekly routine which begun last week. I should really be going more often, but because it takes so long to recover from going to the gym once, on top of my busy schedule (and my excuses), I have concluded that going to the gym weekly is the best routine for me. I think I did about 40 squats today, and other arm exercises for about half an hour… I got home and I passed out on the floor for about an hour! I had such a hard time getting up for a shower. Even now, I don't feel my legs… ahaha. I definitely need to work out more often, before I hit that 30 mark and it will be extra difficult to work out.

I met up with my high school friend that I haven't seen for four years. I thought it has only been two years, but he told me that he was away for school for four years now. Wow… time flies! It was nice catching up with him, and most of all, it was encouraging to see his thankful heart and also to know how God has blessed him with wonderful people in his life, especially while he was away. I'm proud of him for passing the bar exam and becoming the one and only lawyer in our circle of high school friends!

no.405 140609 Thank you for the donation bag

Looking up

I have a good news to share with you all!

Before I share the news, let me tell you a little bit about what's been going with the preparation for Mexico missions this year. As I have mentioned before, I am going back to Mexico this summer in July for ten days, co-leading a group of 14 high school students at my church. We have been planning a fundraising event at the end of the month and it seemed like everything was going so smoothly… until I was told that most of the teams going on a summer mission trip this summer are also hosting a fundraising evening at church. This meant that there is an event every week starting, probably next week. This was a big problem, as we need to raise a big amount, in order to build a house in Mexico.

To be honest, I was discouraged when I heard this news. In my head, I knew that I had to trust God and put down all my worries, but I wasn't doing it. I asked myself if it was even possible to raise that much money. On Sunday's meeting, our team took a lot of time to pray to God about everything… from the preparation, to our daily walk with Christ, people of Mexico and also fundraising.

A week ago, I had asked for a donation from the company I work for. It seemed like I was able to get a donation, however, there was a big possibility that I get it past our fundraising event. Once again, I was discouraged. As you can see, I had a discouraging week and it appeared that nothing was working out… well, until today.

At work, my manager came up to me and told me that she might have a bag for me. At first, I didn't fully understand what she meant by that. Then it hit me a minute after. She has a bag for me! For our fundraising night! She told me that someone returned a "donation bag" and that the company doesn't know what to do with it, so the regional manager told my manager to just donate it. Knowing that I had asked her about a donation, she told the regional people that the bag will be given to me. She said she was just waiting for an approval from the corporate. Although it's not a complete yes, I am so excited and so thankful that we have a bag! I was afraid that we might not get a donation on time, so I had purchased something out of my pocket to use for the event. I figured that I could return it, but I might just make a donation for my team. Not only that, the youth pastor who's is leading this mission trip told me that he received some awesome donations too!

It is indeed the power of prayer. Sometimes it takes time for God to answer our prayers, meaning that it's not the right time for us to ask, sometimes He says yes and sometimes no. But this time, God instantly answered our prayers.

Sometimes it makes me angry at God for listening to my prayers because I have so little faith yet He still listens and answers me. Even today, I was journaling at night and it made me wonder how God still provides even after seeing how much I struggle with trusting Him. If I were in His shoes, I would be like, you don't deserve anything because you didn't trust me. However, our God is faithful. I'm so thankful for the donation bag and also the other donations that the youth pastor received. I'm also thankful for God who revealed His faithfulness to me once again, and also for this opportunity to realize how much more I need to grow in trusting God.

no.404 140608 Thank you for helping me overcome the temptation

Flower for a surprise birthday event for my preschool pastor!

I have a confession to make.

I thought I was doing well in this aspect of my life, but I realize that I am still vulnerable and I am in need of Holy Spirit's guidance.

Girls and shopping probably go hand in hand for most girls. I am not a crazy shopaholic, and I don't enjoy shopping as much as the majority - whether it be shopping brand names, luxury goods or even something cheap from Forever 21. I always thought of myself as a wise spender, checking out the sale section to see if I can find a good deal and all. Once in a while, I would save up to purchase something more expensive, for instance a designer handbag. So I thought I was pretty good, compared to other girls who are always so anxious to get the next "it" bag or who are always on top of the trendy items. To be honest, I am not a fashionista and I never was.

My perspective changed last year, after coming back from my first mission trip. If you're curious about what I'm talking about, you can look for my old entries from last year by clicking "Mexico missions" on the right side. So, until now I thought I've been doing pretty good with how I spend, especially when it came to clothes, accessories and beauty products. For the most part, I asked my self once, twice, and three times, if I really needed something before making a decision. And, I also gave up on buying a pretty pink wallet from a luxury brand that I've been eyeing on for the longest time. With that money, I figured, I could use it for a much better cause.

Recently, I had a dilemma. I found a pretty wallet that was still from a designer brand, but much cheaper than what I originally had wanted… yet, the price wasn't reasonable for a wallet. In addition, I already have two wallets I use that are in a good condition. But this wallet I saw was just so pretty, I kept justifying that I need it, when I only wanted it. Then I was thinking what happened to myself. What happened to the promise I've made last year? What happened to saving money to help the poor instead? Even so, my desire to have the wallet was too strong. I couldn't resist and I went out the next day to see if it was available in the store (as I saw the wallet online, and I hardly ever do online shopping). Thankfully, the wallet was not available in Toronto, and my sister played a role in convincing me not to get it because it was ugly. But still, it was beautiful in my eyes…

So what happened? I ended up not getting the wallet. I'm thankful that I was able to overcome the temptation of purchasing something that wasn't at a reasonable price, and something that I didn't need. I'm not saying that it's wrong to buy anything expensive. I think it's important to have an option to consider that there are similar items at a reasonable price, and always keep in mind of what you can do with the money that God has blessed us with. Through this experience, I learned that materialism is still an area that I need to work on and pray about.

no.403 140607 Thank you for the slow day at work

I wasn't feeling well this morning. I usually try not to take medicine unless I feel really sick, and I was planning on doing that today as well. However, I had a long day of work and I felt like I had no choice.  It was either that, or leave early. I was hesitating whether I should take an advil because I had a bad experience with it a while ago when I got my wisdom tooth out. Well, that's a story for another time.

Thankfully, the advil seemed to settle well in my stomach. Afterwards, a couple of friends came to visit me and that made me feel better too. I'm also thankful that it wasn't too busy at work today. Having a slow day helped me to take things slow. Soon, I was feeling a lot better and was able to function back to normal.

no.402 140606 Thank you for a fun concert

Love Jamie Cullum's voice and his music!

I absolutely loved listening to Jamie Cullum last night! I used to love listening to his songs but I don't think I can enjoy it as much as before. He sounds so much better than the recordings! He's got a great voice and I knew that he plays the piano very well, but I didn't appreciate much until I actually saw him and heard him live. He is too talented. He is witty too. He is also super energetic… wow. And how does he play the piano like that when he's singing? It's something I can't do… I have made many many attempts but I fail each time. Watching him live made me love the musician even more, and definitely made me appreciate his talent more than ever.

I want to share two Jamie Cullum songs that he performed last night. The first one is called "Get Your Way" - the song that says Jamie Cullum all over it, in my opinion. It is also the style of music that made me like him when I first discovered this amazing musician in my teenage years. I'm not sure if I'm explaining right, but his album was more jazzy and fun back then. The second one is called "All at Sea." I even found live performances for you so that you can get a little glimpse of what he's like :) I really hope he comes back vey soon! What if he doesn't?! In that case… I guess I'll have to travel to the UK just to see him again!

no.401 140605 Thank you for Jamie Cullum in Toronto

Walking along King St

Tonight is concert night. Jamie Cullum is in town, woo hoo! Me going to concerts is once a year thing. Come to think of it, I think it was around this time last year, when I went to see Pink Martini. Earlier this year, I remember getting upset because I'm unable to afford to see Jamie live since the tickets were so expensive. Thankfully, the price dropped (I guess not many people in Toronto know him or are a fan of his).

I hope Jamie Cullum sings some of my favourite songs tonight!

no.399 140603 Thank you for the song that put me in a good mood

One of my favourite flower scents

I can't recall the last time I tuned to my radio. Recently I've been listening to different playlists on YouTube which didn't allow me to listen to my favourite radio stations. Thanks to my internet usage reaching 100% of its usage, I had no choice but turning my radio on for the night.

Guess which song I heard?! The theme song for Il Postino, which I really really like, which is also my current ring tone. It just put me in such a good mood! I couldn't help it but sing along.

Oh and one more thing. I finally got to take a picture of the lilacs! I love the smell of fresh lilacs in the field! Today was probably the second time smelling them this season. I hope I get more chance to see and smell them before summer comes!

no.398 140602 Thank you for recharging my body

According to my sister, I talk in my sleep. The very first time I found this out was sometime when I was in university. Back then, I wished my friend a happy birthday... I'm pretty sure there were other times I talked during my sleep. Last night, apparently I was talking to myself again. My sister told me that I said "Im so tired Im gonna die."

Well, true indeed. I was exhausted by the time I got home. I was starving so I had  dinner and then had to go out to get some cream for all the mosquito bites from the weekend (I just counted and I got 20 bites). After I showered quickly and passed out!

Thankfully, I was recharged when I got up! I've been doing fine until I came back from the gym. Today's the first time I lifted some weights. Doing squats with the dumbbells were the hardest… right after the gym time, I walked down the stairs and my legs were so out of control! I guess we will see how much in pain I will be tomorrow morning. My sister says that if my butt hurts then I it properly. We shall see about that!

no.397 140601 Thank you for the end of the long weekend

Quiet time with God in the morning

What a long weekend it was! My body and my mind are worn out from the weekend of VBS at the retreat. Right after the end of the retreat, I had to attend the Mexico meeting until evening… and I finally got to rest around 9PM.

I'm so glad that the weekend is over. I can finally get some rest, and start preparing for the next VBS…!