no.29 130529 Thank you for giving me the heart to forgive

"The Compassion of God" by Tim Keller

Two years ago at the Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City. It was one of the most memorable sermons I've ever heard in my life yet.

 

Before heading to the Big Apple, I asked a friend of mine to recommend a church for me to go during my stay in NYC. He told me to check out the Redeemer church. It wasn't too far from where I stayed so I decided to visit. I had three Sundays there and I went twice for the morning service and once for the evening service, all at the Upper East Side. The Redeemer church is known for its founding pastor, Tim Keller. Back then, I didn't know how famous he was. If I'm remembering correctly, the church has five pastors or so and they all take turns randomly(?) so that the people don't favour one pastor. I got to listen to Keller two out of three times I visited the Redeemer. If I knew how well-known of a pastor he is, I might have listened to his sermons differently. Whether I knew about him or not, his sermons were influential and inspiring. I particularly have a fond memory of the second one I heard. It was meaningful to me because I very much related to his sermon at that point of my life.

 

The title of the sermon was called "The Compassion of God" with the verses coming from Jonah 4:1-11. Before writing this entry, I wanted to refresh my memory so I was looking for the sermon on iTunes. Sadly, it wasn't there. So I googled it, and came across a blog that has a summary of the sermon. If you're interested, click here to read the blog. I'm writing my post based on the notes I've made a couple of years ago. I'm only covering the main topics so I strongly suggest you visit the above blog if you want to get the details.

 

As you can note from the title, the main message was about the compassion of God. To summarize, Keller pointed out three things:

1) compassion of God - how God's heart is voluntarily attached to us and with mercy He forgives us.

2) compassion of Jesus - which is the ultimate expression of compassion and forgiveness 

3) our compassion - how can we be compassionate?

 

From what I remember, Keller spent a decent amount time talking about the last point. In order for us to have the compassion of Jesus, we must do the following:

a) don't enjoy or avoid giving criticism

b) love cities

c) forgive readily

d) expect trouble in your life

e) take time to weep

 

The biggest thing that had an impact on me was point c: forgive readily. God was speaking to me through this sermon to forgive those who have hurt me. I was able to relate to this greatly, because of a couple of recent experiences while I was in New York. I was going through a tough time as I was hurt by a couple of people that I've trusted. I kept asking God why those things happened to me. I couldn't understand why He took those relationships away from me, because I'm sure He knew how I endeared them. Not just that, I had a difficult time trying to figure out and understand what had happened. I tried so hard to find what went wrong, and what I've done wrong. It could be my selfish thought but I just couldn't figure out what I did wrong that led to that kind of outcome.

 

In the end, I came to the conclusion that I was having a difficult time forgiving these people. I couldn't accept what has happened and I was feeling bitter towards these people. It didn't matter if it was me or them who screwed up our relationships - we both had something to do with it because a relationship is always a two-way thing. Feeling bitter, betrayed, numb, upset, uncomprehending, and shocked, I entered the sanctuary on Sunday. When we were singing and praising, I just broke down because I was so overwhelmed. All the tears in me rushed down my cheeks. I couldn't sing along anymore. Then, I focused on the words to the songs and realized how comforting they were. My sadness changed to thanksgiving as I sang along to "He knows my name." Suddenly, I felt  peace in my heart and God's comforting touch. When the sermon began and God spoke to me to forgive readily, I was thinking, 'oh my gosh, this message is for me.' I began to think about Jesus' sacrifice to forgive me. He forgave all my sins - past, present and future - whether small or big, He erased every ugly thing I've done. I always prayed that I want to be like Jesus, to have His eyes, to have His mind, and to have His heart. God forgave a sinner like me.. shouldn't I forgive other who have wronged against me? I prayed to God that I want forgive those people who have hurt me. After I finished praying, all the bitterness and pain in my heart disappeared. I have discovered the peace and comfort in my heart only God could provide. It really felt amazing.

 

Thinking back at that time, I realize I couldn't have forgiven those people by myself. I was able to do that with the power of the Holy Spirit. I'm thankful for giving me the heart to forgive. I just pray that those people who have hurt me in the past won't feel guilty for what they have done. I pray that they know I've already forgiven them, as God has forgiven me.