It finally hit me this morning as soon as I woke up that this is really happening. I woke up in fear and panic. After one more sleep, since I am planning on pulling an all nighter tomorrow night, I'll be leaving for Cambodia. I was in fear and panic because I don't have much time. I am not sure if I'm ready to go. I feel like I need to pray more. I feel like I need to equip myself with the Word to fight the spiritual battle against satan. But thinking back, was I ever ready for a mission trip? I don't think I was. I don't have too many experience with mission trips, but the two times I went, I don't recall myself being ready to go.
I know that I will never be ready to go on missions if I depend on myself. In fact, I'm never ready to do anything or equip to do anything if I were to do it on my own strength. Even if I prayed more and read and memorized the Bible more, I won't feel completely ready. Of course, the more time I spend in prayer and reading the Word of God, the better it will be for me. However, if I try to lean on myself and think that I'm prepared to go on missions, I know that I'm not truly ready to go.
I'm sitting in the hallway at my church. There are lots of noises of people talking, but I hear a quiet melody. "It is well with my soul." This song has recently become one of my favourite songs and I've been listening to it a lot lately. It is well with my soul indeed. I must surrender my fear and panicking heart to God.
